Let us leave this painful subject and turn to signalling. We are getting a little more proficient. Every message we send now starts properly with prefix, service instructions, code time, and so on, and the message itself gets in as many hyphens, horizontal lines, fractions and inverted commas as possible. Here, for instance, is the beginning of a thrilling message (sent to the Editor of _The Times_) which I was receiving last Sunday. "Fore-warned being fore-armed Lieut. Z. SMITHSON, 21st Foot on the _Przemysl-Rzeszow-Olkusz_ road, with £3 9_s._ 7-1/2_d._ in his pocket (interest on 5-1/2% DEBENTURES at 97--brokerage 1/8th) proceeded at 9.25 P.M. to----" At this point the "Fall-in" sounded and we had to stop. I never heard what happened to Lieut. Smithson. My own theory is that he murdered Emma and put the blame on Lt.-Col. St. George, D. S. O., who only had three-and-a-half per cents, and had never seen the girl before. Perhaps the matter will be cleared up when the War is over. But it was a sad blow to us to be told in a lecture that same afternoon that despatch-riding has proved to be much more useful than signalling at the Front. It had an immediate effect on James, and the advertisement in _The Times_ beginning "WANTED TO EXCHANGE a pair of blue-and-white silk flags (new) for motor-bicycle," is generally supposed to be his. "And all the time I've spent on signalling has been wasted," he said indignantly. "Not wasted, James. Your silhouette as you signalled an 'i' has made many a wet day bright. Anyway, it's no excuse for not coming to bayonet drill. That won't be wasted." James made some absurd excuse about wanting to improve his shooting first. "One is more independent with the bayonet," I assured him. "The Government doesn't like us as it is, and it's not going to waste much ammunition on us. But once you've tied the carving-knife on to the end of your umbrella, there you are." "Well, I'll think about it," said James. But I have heard since that he had already attended one class; and that in the middle of it James the solicitor advised James the soldier not to proceed further with the matter. "Your time," said James the solicitor, "will be better spent on the range--where you can lie down." And James the soldier made it so. A. A. M. * * * * * DIPLOMACY. [_What would happen if we modelled our business affairs on the Yellow Book, Blue Book, White Book, Orange Book and Grey Book_] 1. _From Alfred Midgely, Office Manager, to James Henry Bullivant (Managing Director of Bullivants, Limited, Drysalters), temporarily abroad._ I hear from an absolutely trustworthy source that our town traveller, Mr. Herbert Blenkins, is thinking of giving notice. I have the honour to suggest that this merits the immediate attention of Your Excellency. 2. _From J. H. B. to A. M._