"As the hour for departure approached the band played alternately the 'Marcia Reale' and 'Rule, Britannia,' while our men sang 'Tipperary.'"--_The Times._ We fear the proceedings were not so harmonious as we had been led to suppose. * * * * * "GENTLEMAN'S SHOOTING ESTATE for Sale, 240 acres, or would Let on Lease; near London Bridge."--_Advt. in "The Standard."_ Shooting the arches is splendid sport. * * * * * "2.45 A.M.--When Grossmith lit a cigarette someone said, 'This is all right. We bring a civilian here, and he lights up within hailing distance of the Germans.' 2.46 P.M.--Grossmith put out his cigarette."--_Daily Mirror._ Now that tobacco is going up again it would be a boon to smokers if Mr. GROSSMITH would tell us how he keeps a cigarette going for twelve hours. * * * * * "The fire which broke out at Bergen on Saturday was mastered by three o'clock on Sunday morning. About 400 buildings, mostly very valuable property, were destroyed. The value of the houses which were burnt down is about L1,111,111, and the total damage is estimated at L5,555,555."--_Edinburgh Evening News._ The exactitude of these figures would convince even an insurance company. * * * * * [Illustration: _First Lady._ "THAT'S ONE OF THEM AUSTRALIAN SOLDIERS." _Second Lady._ "HOW DO YOU KNOW?" _First Lady._ "WHY, CAN'T YOU SEE THE KANGAROO FEATHERS IN HIS HAT?"] * * * * * THE PLEA OF THE HOMELESS. Most of the petitions from natives which find their way into print for the removal of the white man's gravity hail from our Indian Empire. But the Babu's monopoly can be assailed. The following recent and genuine example is from West Africa:-- _"To Sir ---- ----, Commander of the New Work Shops._ "Sir, read to the end!