A telegram from the British Ambassador at Washington, stating that President WILSON'S War-speech had been very well received, and that Congress was expected to take his advice, gave great satisfaction. As the MINISTER FOR AGRICULTURE observed, "The outlook for early potatoes may be doubtful, but our SPRING-RICE promises excellently." Mr. PROTHERO has made up his alleged differences with the SECRETARY OF STATE FOR WAR, and signalized the treaty of peace first by snuggling up to Mr. MACPHERSON on the Treasury Bench, and next by handsomely supporting the new Military Service Bill. In return the UNDER-SECRETARY FOR WAR introduced a much-needed amendment by which men wholly engaged on food-production may be exempted by the Board of Agriculture from the process of "re-combing" now to be applied to the rest of the population. _Wednesday, April 4th._--Mr. SNOWDEN disapproves of the selection of the two Labour Members who are to form part of a deputation about to proceed to Petrograd to convey to the Russian Government the congratulations of the British people. Possibly the neckties of the proposed envoys are not of a sufficiently sanguinary shade, or their brows are not lofty enough to proclaim them true "leaders of thought." The suggestion that the Member for Blackburn should himself be despatched to Petrograd (without a return ticket) has been regretfully abandoned. * * * * * [Illustration: _Jock (in captured trench)_. "COOM AWA' UP HERE, DONAL'; IT'S DRIER."] * * * * * PREPARED FOR THE WORST. Extract from a Canadian lease-form:-- "Will during the said term keep and at its expiration leave the premises in good repair (reasonable wear and tear and accidents by fire or tempest expected)." * * * * * "Gentleman single letterarian sportsman 5 linguages tennant pretty little cottage charmingly situated between Montreux Vevey, complete sanitary accommodations vicinity boat, seabaths, golf-grounds excursions receives PAYING GUEST moderate terms, Prussians and Austro-Germans, alcoholists undesired."-- _Swiss Paper._ We do not quite know what a single letterarian is, but he seems to be a person of discriminating taste. * * * * * "AVIARIES, POULTRY AND PETS. Lady ----'s Teeth Society, Ltd.--Gas 2s., teeth at hospital prices, weekly if desired."--_Daily Paper_. We are not told under which category Lady ----'s dentures come, but venture to point out that in these days no one should make a pet of them. * * * * * MAXIMS OF THE MONTHS. (_Composed during the recent Spring snowstorm._) From January's start to close It rains or hails or sleets or snows. For atmospherical vagaries The palm perhaps is February's. To say March exits like a lamb Is Falsehood's very grandest slam.