A little later a London bookseller has the temerity to place some of the latest fiction before our chatty alien, but pays dearly for his rash act. In these words did the Italian let him have it:--"Ai du nòt laich nòv-èls èt òl, bicô-S ê nòv-èl is bàt ê fichtisciòs têl stof-T òv sô mènE fantastical dîds ènd nònsènsical wòrDs, huicc òpsèt maind ènd hàRt. An-hêppe thô-S an-uêrE jòngh pèrsòns, hu spènd thèaR prê-sciòs taim in ridin nòv-èls! Thê du nòt nô thèt nòv-èllists, gènnèrallE spichin, aR thi laitèst ènd thi môst huim-sical raittaRs, hu hèv uêstèd ènd uêst thèaR laif in liùdnès." English people abroad do not, as a rule, drop aphorisms by the way; but our Italian loves to do so. Thus, to one stranger (in the section devoted to Virtues and Vices), he remarks, "Uith-aut Riligiòn ui sciùd bi uòrS thèn bîsts." To another, "Thi igotist spîchs còntinniùallE òv himself ènd mêchs himsèlf thi sèntaR òv èvvèrE thingh." And to a third, a little tactlessly perhaps, "Impólait-nès is disgòstin." He is sententious even to his hatter: "Ê hèt sciùd bi prôpôrsciònD tu thi hèd ènd pèrsòn, fòr it is lâf-èbl tu sî ê laRgg hèt òp-òn ê smòl hèd, ènd ê smòl hèt òp-òn ê laRgg hèd." But sometimes he goes all astray. He is, for instance, desperately ill-informed as to English law. In England, he tells us, and believes the pathetic fallacy, "thi trêns stàrt ènd arraiv vèrE pòngh-ciùAllE, òthaR-uais passèn-giàRs hu arraiv-lêt fòr thèaR bis-nès cud siù thi CompAnE fôr dèm-êgg-S." He is calm and collected in an emergency. Thus, to a lady who has burst into flames, "Bi not êfrêd, Madam," he says, "thi faiR hès còt jur gaun. Lé daun òp-òn thi flòR, ènd ju uil put aut thi faiR uith jur hèndS." His presence of mind saves him from using his own hands for the purpose. Resourcefulness is indeed as natural to him as to Sir CHRISTOPHER WREN in the famous poem. "Uilliam," he says to his man, "if ènEbòdE asch-s fòr mi, ju uil sê thèt ai scèl bi bèch in ê fòrt-nait." He meets Miss Butterfield. "Mis BòttaRfild," he says, "uil ju ghiv mi ê glàs òv uòtaR, if ju plîS?" And that is the end of the lady. Or I think so. But there is just a possibility that it is she (no longer Miss Butterfield, but now a Signora) whom he rebukes in a coffee-house: "Mai diaR, du nòt spích òv pòllitichs in ê Còffi-Haus, fòr nò travvEllaR, if priùdènt, èvvaR tòchs èbaut pòllitichs in pòblich." And again it may be for Miss Butterfield that he orders a charming present (first saying it is for a lady): "Ghiv mi thèt ripittaR sèt uith rubès, thèt straich-S thi aurS ènd thi hâf-aurS."