"Of course," said the General kindly to the O.O., "it's not quite perpendicular, it's a bit too low; wants a stronger prop, wires are a bit slack, the vane itself wants looking to, and the whole thing is in rather a bad position, but otherwise it's all right--quite all right." "Yes, Sir," said the O.O. "And there's too much oil," added the General, as he moved off. "There is," said the B.M., discovering another blob on his shiny boots, "and on m-me!" * * * * * The Staff were unaccountably late. The O.O. breakfasted alone. For three days he had been the despair of the small and perspiring body of pioneers, who towards the end had fled at the mere sight of him. But at last the vane was working. "Well," said the General when he came in, "how's the wind, expert?" "N.N.E.," said the O.O. proudly. (It was the first thing he had done since he came on the Brigade three weeks before, and he was pleased at the interest the Staff had taken in his little achievement.) "I've had the pioneers working on it, and we've got it up another four feet, Sir, tightened the pole, and wired it on to the supports on every side. It's quite perpendicular now. I've marked out the points of the compass on it, and fixed up a little arrangement for gauging the strength of the wind--that flap thing, you know, Sir--" "Yes, yes," said the General, who seemed to have lost his first keenness, "I'm glad it's working all right. By the way, we shall be moving from here to-morrow; the division's going back." The O.O. drained the teapot in silence, and was glad it was strong and bitter. * * * * * [Illustration: AT OUR COMPANY SMOKER. _The Major_ (_sings_). "AND WE DIDN'T CARE A BUTTON IF THE ODDS WERE ON THE FOE TEN--TWENTY--THIRTY--FORTY--" _Colonel_ (_roused from surreptitious snooze_). "AS YOU WERE!--NUMBER!"] * * * * * Result of the Blockade. Notice on a railway bookstall:-- "MEN AROUND THE KAISER. MUCH REDUCED." * * * * * "On the pier a man was arrested who declared excitedly that he was Frederick Hohenzollern, the Kaiser's nephew, but he appeared quite harmless."--_Daily News_. Obviously an impostor. * * * * * "The khaki-clad boys were as merry as a party of undergraduates celebrating some joyous event at the college tuck-shop."--_Yorkshire Herald_. What memories of the Junior Common Room are recalled by this artless phrase. * * * * * The Super-Submarine. "The Lyman M. Law was stopped by a gunshot fired by a submarine, which boarded the American boat, took the names of all on board, and then authorised the continuation of the voyage."--_Evening News_. * * * * * Experiences of Mr. GERARD'S party:--