"Our first surprise on reaching Paris was to find taxi-cabs, and taxi-cubs with pneumatic tyres."--_Scots Paper_. We suggest that our M.F.H.'s should import a few of these in time for next season's cubbing. They give an excellent run for the money--a mile for eightpence or so. * * * * * THE MISSING LEADER. What is Master WINSTON doing? What new paths is he pursuing? What strange broth can he be brewing? Is he painting, by commission, Portraits of the Coalition For the R.A. exhibition? Is he Jacky-obin or anti? Is he likely to "go Fanti," Or becoming shrewd and canty? Is he in disguise at Kovel, Living in a moujik's hovel, Making a tremendous novel? Does he run a photo-play show? Or in _sæva indignatio_ Is he writing for HORATIO? Fired by the divine afflatus Does he weekly lacerate us, Like a Juvenal _renatus?_ As the great financial purist, Will he smite the sinecurist Or emerge as a Futurist? Is he regularly sending HAIG and BEATTY screeds unending, Good advice with censure blending? Is he ploughing, is he hoeing? Is he planting beet, or going In for early 'tato-growing? Is he writing verse or prosing, Or intent upon disclosing Gifts for musical composing? Is he lecturing to flappers? Is he tunnelling with sappers? Has he joined the U-boat trappers? Or, to petrify recorders Of events within our borders, _Has he taken Holy Orders?_ Is he well or ill or middling? Is he fighting, is he fiddling?-- He can't only be thumb-twiddling. These are merely dim surmises, But experience advises Us to look for weird surprises, Somersaults, and strange disguises. * * * * * Thus we summed the situation When Sir HEDWORTH MEUX' oration Brought about a transformation. Lo! the Blenheim Boanerges On a sudden re-emerges And, to calm the naval _gurges_, FISHER'S restoration urges. * * * * * A Work of Supererogation. "At an interval in the evening some carols were sung by members of our G.F.S., and a collection was taken on behalf of a fund for providing Huns for our soldiers."--_Parish Magazine_. * * * * * INFORMATION WANTED.