Our Chairman wants to save his skin And (curse this train!) to cook a plan For Germany to pouch what spoils she can-- All very nice; but where do I come in? At best I'm but the missing link Upon his Berlin-Baghdad line; This is the senior partner's show, not mine; Will he consult my feelings? I don't think. If Russia's gain should mean my loss, He'll wince at Teuton schemes cut short, But for my grief, expelled from my own Porte, Will he care greatly? Not one little toss. Well, as I've said and said again, 'Tis Fate (Kismet), and, should it frown, We Faithful have to take it lying down-- And yet, by Allah, how I loathe this train! O. S. * * * * * "A subaltern friend of mine landed at Gibraltar for a few hours, and he was anxious to be able to say that he had been to Spain. So he walked along the Isthmus to Ceuta, where the British and Spanish sentries faced one another, and directly the Spanish soldier turned his head he hopped quickly over into Spain. Then the sentry turned round, and he hopped back again even more quickly."--_Daily Sketch_. Those of our readers who have walked from the Gibraltar frontier to Morocco and back, like the above subaltern, know that it takes some doing. * * * * * "JAMES PHILLIPS, 16, was charged with doing damage to the extent of £4 10s. at a refreshment shop in Hackney belonging to Peter Persico. As he was kept waiting a little time he broke a plate on the table; then he put a saucer under his heel and broke it. When remonstrated with he broke 10 cups and saucers by throwing them at partitions and enamelled decorations, and overturned a marble table, the top of which he smashed."--_The Times_. No doubt he was incited to these naughty deeds by the line, very popular in Hackney circles, "Persico's odi, puer, apparatus." * * * * * HEART-TO-HEART TALKS. (_The Emperor of AUSTRIA and Count TISZA_.) _Tisza_. So there is the full account, your Majesty, of men killed, wounded and captured. _The Emperor_. It is a gloomy list and I hardly can bear to consider it. _Tisza_. Yes, and beyond the mere list of casualties by fighting there are other matters to be considered. Food is scarce and of a poor quality, in Hungary as elsewhere. The armies we can yet feed, but the home-staying men and the women and children are a growing difficulty. It becomes more and more impossible to provide them with sufficient nourishment. _The Emperor_. It is strange, but in Austria the conditions are said to be even worse. _Tisza_. You are right, Sire, they are worse, much worse. _The Emperor_. Well, we must lose no time then. We must buy great stocks of food. More money must be spent.