_Mary_. "WELL, MA'AM, YOU SEE, THE GENTLEMAN I WALK OUT WITH HAS JUST GOT A JOB IN A MUNITION FACTORY, AND I SHALL BE OBLIGED TO DRESS UP TO HIM."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Gretchen_. "WILL IT NEVER END? THINK OF OUR AWFUL RESPONSIBILITY BEFORE HUMANITY." _Hans_. "AND THESE EVERLASTING SARDINES FOR EVERY MEAL."] * * * * * WARS OF THE PAST. (_AS RECORDED IN THE PRESS OF THE PERIOD._) V. _FROM "THE PIRÆUS PICTORIAL."_ GET A MOVE ON. _BY MR. DEMOSTHENES._ [_The brilliant Editor of "Pal Athene," who has been aptly styled "the leading light of the democracy," contributes what is perhaps the most wonderful and powerful article which we have had the pleasure of publishing from his trenchant pen._] Words won't do it, my friends. We don't want speeches. We want _action_. I ask you to give the Buskers socks. Kick this Chorus of Five Hundred out of the orchestra. Ostrichise the Government! Give them the bird! If I read my countrymen aright (and who does if I don't?), what they are saying now is, "We must have a definite plan of strong action. We are not going to fight any longer with speeches and despatches." That's the way, Athenians! Good luck to you! Zeus bless you. And the same to you, Tommy Hoplites and Jack Nautes, and many of them! _You_ don't mean PHILIP to be Tyrant of Athens, do you? _You_'re not going to have him turning our beautiful Parthenon into a cavalry stable? _You_'re not going to see the Barbarians hanging up their shields on the dear old statue of Athene. Of course you're not. When I walk through the city and see, as I pass the houses of my humbler brethren, the neat respectable little altars and the good old well-used wine-presses (which I never do without breathing a little prayer, uncantingly, straight from the heart), I say, "It's a foul calumny to pretend that the people are not all right. They are, Zeus bless 'em! All they are waiting for is a lead. And action!" We've got to have a strong policy, my friends, and my tip to you is--"Trust the Army! Curse the politicians!" It's no use sitting still while ÆSCHINES AND Co. are spouting. You and I, my brothers and sisters, as I'm proud to call you, _we_ don't spout, do we? We mean business! _And PHILIP means business too_! At any moment he may come down on us and devastate our quiet picturesque little demes which we all love so well and get disgustingly drunk on _our_ wine. So give us the word, ÆSCHINES AND Co.--not many words, please, but just _one_ word--and we'll tackle him as he ought to be tackled and put a pinch of Attic salt on his tail. We don't want _this_ PHILIP, but we _do_ want a fillip of our own. Meanwhile, are we downhearted? I _don't_ think. (_Another powerful philippic by Mr. Demosthenes next week._) * * * * * WHAT TO DO WITH OUR PRISONERS.