When the U.S. came in, he shed his citizenship in a hurry, fled to South America, and naturalised himself in a republic that had sworn by all its gods to keep out of the War _a tout prix_. This republic, however, changed its mind later and followed its big northern brother into the War, _et voila_! Somebody's Cousin was at a loose end again. He afterwards naturalised himself in half-a-dozen small far-away nations that all finally came in, and _then, cherie_, he drifted down to the islands of the South Pacific (the favourite ocean of _his_ sort!) and had himself made an Ollyoola. (The Ollyoolas are a tribe that has _never in all its past history_ been known to go to war). He was made an Ollyoola with all the native rites, dancing and shrieking and so on, and he wore the correct Ollyoola dress (a few shells and his hair trained on sticks to stand straight up). And _now_ comes the point of this storyette: Only a few weeks after Somebody's Cousin had become a full-blooded Ollyoola (I think that's the proper phrase), the Ollyoolas suddenly fell out with the Patti-Tattis (on the next island) and went to war, for _absolutely the first time_, with a _ferocity_, my Daphne, that seems to have been saving up through all their centuries of peacefulness! Nothing's been heard since of Somebody's Cousin! Ever thine, BLANCHE. * * * * * "AIRMEN'S ORDEAL IN THE NORTH SEA. FIVE DAYS ON A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE." _Continental Daily Mail_. Rather a precarious perch. * * * * * "'GIB.' SHELLS FALL IN MOROCCO. MADRID.--Near Algeciras 20 shells fell from the batteries of Gibraltar. There were no victims, and no damage was caused. The authorities at Gibraltar have given satisfactory explanations."--_Evening Paper_. Still, we should like to know the nature of the explosive that blew Algeciras across the Straits. * * * * * KINSMEN AND NAMESAKES. An official circular, commenting on the presentation at the Scala, in film form, of _The Crisis_, by Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL, the American novelist, adds the interesting statement, "the author is of course a distant cousin of the Right Hon. Winston Churchill, M.P."; This sounds a little ungracious. Why "of course _distant_?" But perhaps the gifted novelist shares the opinion held by Lord BERESFORD of the politician who did not write _The Crisis_, but is always trying to make one. * * * * * From the account of a military wedding in _The West London Press_:-- "The bridegroom was wearing a simple draped gown of lavender-blue crepe georgette, with a mushroom-shaped hat in the same shade, wreathed with small coloured flowers and draped with a blue lace veil." Some mufti! * * * * * "When the Lord Provost ruled that the mater was not urgent, the Labourists created something of a scene."--_Glasgow Citizen_.