Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, June 27, 1917: 1917 AlmanackVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, June 27, 1917: 1917 Almanack
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
'In the interests of health I have permitted the less exalted members
of the camp to lay out a small golf course within the enclosed area,
and yesterday the links were declared open, the ceremony taking the
form of a four-ball competition, in which the German CROWN PRINCE was
partnered with FRANCIS-JOSEPH of Austria against FERDINAND of Bulgaria
and MEHMED of Turkey. Although present at the proceedings I feel that
I cannot do better than include in my report an account of the contest
which appeared in _The St. Helena Sentinel_.'"
Extract from _St. Helena Sentinel_:--
"_Internment Camp, 3 p.m._--CROWN PRINCE, who plays slashing reckless
game, takes honour at first hole (Liége to Loos), hooks at right
angles, dents two spectators, and ends up in Aisne Bunker. FERDINAND
(canny, cautious type of player) hits a wind-cheating screamer
which finished fully forty yards from the tee. Critics differ as to
FRANCIS-JOSEPH's shot, and it is still a moot point whether he had a
species of fit or was simply trying to follow through. When restored
to perpendicular was found to have ball deeply embedded in his person.
Disqualified for handling. MEHMED (a left-hander; uses clubs with
scimitar-shaped shafts) puts his drive over short slip into the
club-house kitchen. C.P., after converting Aisne Bunker into mine
crater, picks up. M., hopelessly bunkered in the Irish Stew, also
picks up. F. holes out in a stealthy nineteen. Bulgar-Turk Combine one
up.
_2nd Hole_ (_Ypres Salient--120 yards pitch_).--FRANCIS-JOSEPH,
strongly urged by Czech backers to use his foot instead of his clubs,
heels out in seventeen and squares the match. (Sensation.)
_3rd hole_ (_Czernowitch to Brest-Litowski_).--CROWN PRINCE, taking
the Przaritczow-Blokhod-Strypovitchi line, puts long-range shot into
the Pripet Marches. MEHMED, after undermining greater part of the
Bukowina, reports progress from the tee. FRANCIS-JOSEPH, reverting
to clubs, misses tee-shot twenty-four times and retires exhausted to
bath-chair. FERDIE's wind-cheater, badly sliced, trickles into the
Warsaw whins and is lost. C.P., arrived at edge of Pripet Marshes,
drops another ball, tops it into hazard, throws bag of clubs after it,
and sends for another set. Hole abandoned, M. having taken thirty-nine
shots and a life-line to get out of the Blokhod Swamp.
[Illustration: "FIRST-HAND EXHIBITION OF FRIGHTFULNESS."]
_4th Hole_ (_Kilimanjaro to Tanganyika_).--CROWN PRINCE drives out of
bounds twelve times, gives away second set of clubs and sends for
a third. FRANCIS-JOSEPH, attempting the Smuts Smash from edge
of Usambara Bunker, over-balances into hazard and is partially
suffocated. FERDINAND is disqualified for pushing on the green. MEHMED
holes his tee shot. (Uproar.) Orientals one up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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