_Thursday, May 17th_.--We are all agog to know whether the PRIME MINISTER'S offer of immediate Home Rule to twenty-six Counties of Ireland is to be blessed or banned by the Nationalists. This is the day when Irish Questions have priority, and the House hears such important inquiries as whether Hibernian holiday-makers will have their excursion-trains restored to them; what became of a side of bacon captured by the police during the Easter Monday rebellion, and why a certain magistrate should have been struck off the Commission of the Peace for a trifling refusal to take the oath of allegiance. Are we to go without this entertainment in the future, or will Mr. REDMOND refuse to rob Westminster of its gaiety even for the sake of College Green? If, as I ventured to suggest last week, the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER had laid in a stock of tobacco before the Budget he has evidently exhausted it by now, for, on his attention again being called to the exorbitant charge of the tobacconists, he no longer pooh-poohed the matter, but sternly declared that the situation was being closely watched. * * * * * COMMERCIAL CANDOUR. "The Car that never fails to give anything but satisfaction to its owners."--_Advertisement in "Indian Motor News."_ * * * * * [Illustration: _Amateur_ (_awaiting his turn to perform_). "A-ARE YOU NERVOUS, OLD CHAP?" _Infant Prodigy_ (_ditto_). "WHAT IS 'NERVOUS'?"] * * * * * MY AMERICAN COUSINS. Because they speak the tongue that's mine, Rich in the treasure that belongs To them as well as me, and twine Their heart-strings in our English songs, I knew they'd scorn those German threats And sham regrets. Because their country's name is scrolled With Liberty's; because her fate, Like England's own, must be unrolled In Freedom still, they had to hate The thought of bowing down before A Lord of War. And now they'll lavish in the strife The gold they've scorned to love too well, And fleets to bring the food that's life, And guns of death, and steel and shell; Defeat or triumph, stand or fall, They'll share their all. They're out for business; now's their Day; They took their time, but finished right; The heat got slowly comes to stay; Patient for peace means firm in fight; And so their country still shall be Land of the Free. * * * * * "Remarkable scenes were witnessed at Exeter yesterday at the free distribution of 10,000 lbs. of potatoes in 5 lb. lots. Five thousand people obtained 5 lbs. each."--_Sunday Paper_. This result was obtained by the forethought of the distributors, who had the potatoes laid out on multiplication tables. * * * * * [Illustration: _Farmer_. "WHAT THE BLAZES ARE YOU DOING? AND WITH THEM 'ORSES STANDIN' HIDLE?"