Of the many ladies who add charm to the entertainment I can only mention Miss EDMÉE DORMEUIL, who as _Victoire_ has an important share in the plot and saves _Old Bill's_ life; Miss GOODIE REEVE, who sings some capital songs; and Miss PEGGY DORAN, who looks bewitching as an officer of the Woman Workers' Corps. The music, arranged by Mr. HERMAN DAREWSKI, is catchy and not uncomfortably original: and the scenery, designed by Captain BAIRNSFATHER, gives one, I should say, as good an idea of the trenches as one can get without going there. In fine I would parody _Old Bill_ and say, "If you knows of a better show, go to it!" L. * * * * * [Illustration: _Perfect stranger (to Jones, who has not forgotten Willie's birthday)._ "AIN'T YOU ASHAMED TO GO BATTING THESE DAYS?"] * * * * * [Illustration: "NAH, ALL THEM AS IS WILLIN' TO COME ALONG O' ME, PLEASE SIGNIFY THE SAME IN THE USUAL MANNER. CARRIED UNANIMOUSLY."] * * * * * TO A MODERN MUSE. O Metaphasia, peerless maid, How can I fitly sing The priceless decorative aid To dialogue you bring, Enabling serious folk, whose brains Are commonplace and crude, To soar to unimagined planes Of sweet ineptitude. Changed by your magic, common-sense Nonsensical appears, And stars of sober influence Shoot madly from their spheres. You lure us from the beaten track, From minding P.'s and Q.'s, To paths where white is always black And pies resemble pews. Strange beasts, more strange than the giraffe, You conjure up to view, The flue-box and the forking-calf, Unknown at any Zoo; And new vocations you unfold, Wonder on wonder heaping, Hell-banging for the over-bold, And toffee-cavern keeping. With you we hatch the pasty snipe, And all undaunted face Huge fish of unfamiliar type-- Bush-pike and bubble-dace; Or, fired by hopes of lyric fame, We deviate from prose, And make it our especial aim Bun-sonnets to compose. I wonder did the ancients prove Responsive to your spell, Or, riveted to Reason's groove, Against your charms rebel. And yet some senator obese, In Rome long years ago, May have misnamed a masterpiece _De Gallo bellico_. We know there were heroic men Ere AGAMEMNON'S days, Who passed forgotten from our ken, Lacking a poet's praise; But, though great Metaphasiarchs Have doubtless flourished sooner, I'm sure their raciest remarks Have been eclipsed by S-----r. * * * * * THE LIMIT. "The daily cost of the war has shown an alarming tendency to mount, and has gone beyond the 700 millions which some folk thought must be the limit a few months ago." _Sussex Daily News._ * * * * *