Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 26, 1917 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 26, 1917Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 26, 1917
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Now from the land of Punt the galleys come,
HATSHEPSU'S, sent by Amen-Ra and her
To bring from God's own land the gold and myrrh,
The ivory, the incense and the gum;
The greyhound, anxious-eyed, with ear of silk,
The little ape, with whiskers white as milk,
And the enamelled peacock come with them.
The little ape sits on HATSHEPSU'S chair,
And with a solemn and ironic eye
He sees TAHUTMES strap the balsamed hair
Unto his royal chin and wonders why;
He sees the stewards and chamberlains bow down,
Plays with the asp upon HATSHEPSU'S crown,
And thinks, "A goodly land, this land of Khem!"
The little ape sits on HATSHEPSU'S knee
While the great lotus-fans move to and fro;
Outside along the Nile the galleys go
And the Phoenician rowers seek the sea;
Outside the masons carve TAHUTMES' chin,
Tipped with the beard of Ra, and lo, within--
The ape, derisive and ineffable.
The little ape from Punt sits there beside
TAHUTMES and HATSHEPSU on their throne,
Dissembling courteously his inward pride
When the great men of Egypt, one by one,
Their oiled and shaven heads before him bend,
And thinking, "I was born unto this end;
I am the King they honour. It is well."
* * * * *
THE CLINCHOPHONE.
["WANTED.--Loud gramophone (second-hand) for reprisals."--_Advt.
in "The Times."_]
It is just to meet such pressing demands as this that the Gramophobia
Company have introduced their remarkable instrument or weapon,
described as The Clinchophone. No home is complete without it.
It is supplied with little oil bath, B.S.A. fittings and kick start.
A child can set it in motion, but nothing on earth will stop it until
its object is achieved and there is peace with honour.
Installed in a neighbourhood bristling with pianos, amateur singers,
gramophones, and other grind boxes it saves its cost in doctors'
bills.
It is fatal at fifty yards, and there has been nothing like it since
the "Tanks." It can do almost everything except stop before its time.
Read the following testimonials:--
"GENTLEMEN,--While the grand piano next door was playing last
evening I pressed the button of The Clinchophone. The piano
immediately sat back on its haunches, gibbered and then fell
on the player."
"DEAR SIR,--At the first trial of my new Clinchophone my
neighbour's gramophone rushed out of the house and has not been
heard of since."
"SAVED" says: "Last night the _basso profondo_ two doors away
started singing, 'Rocked in the Cradle of the Deep.' He sang two
bars and then crawled round to my house on his hands and knees and
collapsed on the doorstep with the word 'Kamerad!' on his lips."
* * * * *
OUR STYLISTS.
"The look from his eyes, the ashen colour of his face, the passion
in his voice, mute though it was, frightened and bewildered
her."--_Story in "Home Notes."_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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