PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 156. June 25, 1919. CHARIVARIA. A man has written to the papers offering to buy five thousand pounds of Joy Loan if the Government will get him a case of whisky. The simple fellow does not seem to realise that if the Government had anything as valuable as a case of whisky it would not have to raise a loan. *** The successful trans-Atlantic flight and the large number of public-houses in Galway threaten to make prohibition in U.S.A. nothing less than a farce. *** Smoking, says a Church paper, is on the increase among boys. Boys will be girls these days. *** Smoking and bad language seem to go together, says Professor GILBERT MURRAY. In the case of some cheap cigars we have often seen them going together. *** A bazaar has been held in Dublin for the purpose of securing a fresh stock of wild animals for the Zoological Gardens. It is not believed, however, that the popularity of Sinn Fein can be seriously challenged. *** "Serbia," says an Italian news agency, "is purchasing large quantities of war material and aeroplanes." It is feared, however, that these elaborate Peace preparations may yet turn out to be premature. *** Two German machine guns, it is stated, have been placed in a provincial library. Even this, it is thought, will not prevent Mr. H.G. WELLS from doing what he conceives to be his duty. *** Labour unrest is reported from Spitzbergen. There is also a rumour that the Greenlanders are demanding the nationalization of blubber and a 180-day year. *** There is said to be some talk at Washington of the House of Representatives inviting President WILSON to visit America shortly. *** A Chicago Girls' Club has decided that its members shall have nothing to do with young men. It is certainly getting to be an effeminate habit. *** _The Daily Mail_ has presented a golden slipper for the actress with the smallest feet. The slipper, we understand, is quite new and has never been used on anybody. *** An American gentleman is about to offer for sale his corkscrew, or would exchange for something useful. *** A very mean theft is reported from West Ealing. Not content with stealing the loose silver a burglar is reported to have stolen the muzzle from off the watch-dog. *** The New Cross Fire Brigade have been awarded a Challenge Cup for the quickest work. This brigade is now open to book a few orders for fires during August, when they have several open dates. *** We understand that a couple of young cheeses were kidnapped from a Crouch Hill warehouse last week. *** It is a surprising fact, says a contemporary, that when LENIN was born his parents were practically penniless. The greater mystery is that his parents decided to keep him. ***