At 8.45 Number One arrived. To help him he had brought a couple of watch-keepers, a surgeon, three engineers, a naval instructor and the captain of Marines. He only paused to borrow one side of the gunner's V and all but forty of the A.P.'s tickets, and passed on down the road. When he had reached a suitable point about a hundred yards south of the A.P. he had the purloined rope stretched slantwise, in such a way that the only means of passing it was a little passage a yard wide between the rope and the ditch on the right of the road. A little nearer still to the starting-point he had a large placard erected with the words "Keep to the Right" painted on it. Punctually at 9.0 the Commander arrived with a piece of string and the P.M.O. They took up their stand one on each side of the road opposite the placard. The Bloke produced a small gold pencil, but, as he had forgotten to bring any paper, he commandeered the placard and began feverishly to write down all the numbers he could think of from one to six hundred and fifty. You are no doubt anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Owner at 9.15. Well, I'm afraid I must disappoint you. Still, although he did not come in person, yet he made his presence felt, as every good skipper should. At 9.15, as the ship's company were lining up for the start by the semaphore, he made the signal from the ship:-- "Sailing at 13.30. Return immediately." * * * * * SONGS OF SIMLA. V.--PELITI'S. I troll you no song that will hinder you long, I pen you no ponderous treatise, The theme that I sing is a gossamer thing As light as the cakes at PELITI'S. Grey roofs mid the pines and a heaven that shines As blue as the water where Crete is, The malachite green of a misty ravine, That's the balcony view at PELITI'S. There are mortals, may be, who abominate tea (One's poison another man's meat is), Who shy at the touch of a crumpet--for such There is music and love at PELITI'S. See that G.S.O.2 with the lady in blue; Has she noticed where one of his feet is, Or the issue that hangs on the plate of meringues Which he buys her each day at PELITI'S? Here the rulers of Ind, from the Salween to Sind, Take their ices and wafers (MCVITIE'S) And elaborate schemes over chocolate creams At five-o'clock tea at PELITI'S. And I think, when we die and the wraiths of us fly To that peace which depends not on treaties, The joys which we find will but serve to remind Of the hours that we spent at PELITI'S. J.M.S. * * * * * "Thomas ---- was fined £5 £at £Oswestry yesterday for selling goods to a German prisoner. The chairman said defendant had sold goods to the value of 11s, 1-1/2d. Where the German had got that large sum of money from was quite a mystery."--_Daily Paper_. It seems pretty evident from the report that there was a good deal of money about somewhere.