Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, March 12, 1919 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, March 12, 1919Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, March 12, 1919
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
No fewer than forty-six questions were addressed to the War Office.
But obviously this sort of thing cannot go on. The SECRETARY OF STATE
cannot devote so much of his valuable time to satisfying Parliamentary
curiosity. Accordingly he has appointed a "Members' friend" to hear
complaints and answer questions. Mr. McCALLUM SCOTT has been rewarded
for his consistent admiration--did he not publish a eulogy of "Winston
Churchill in Peace and War" when his hero's fortunes were temporarily
clouded?--and on two days a week will have the privilege of acting as
lightning-conductor.
The most intriguing detail in the story of DE VALERA'S escape
from Lincoln Gaol was the beguilement of the guards by two sweet
girl-graduates from Dublin. But this afternoon Mr. SHORTT curtly
stated--with a twinkle in his eye--that the sentries disclaimed all
knowledge of the ladies. Still, is this conclusive?
_Wednesday, March 5th_.--The friends of the new LORD CHANCELLOR
were becoming anxious lest his natural gaiety should be permanently
suppressed by the necessity of keeping up the dignity of the Woolsack.
They need be under no further apprehensions. A motion in favour of
Home Rule All Round, introduced by Lord BRASSEY and supported by Lord
SELBORNE, furnished him with his chance. Metaphorically flinging his
full-bottomed wig on to the floor he skipped into the arena, executed
a war-dance around his amazed victims, and, before they knew where
they were, got their heads into Chancery and knocked them together
until they were compelled to give in. Talk of the congestion of
Parliament! Why, now that party spirit was in abeyance, Bills went
through with incredible rapidity. As for the supposed ambitions of the
"little nations," what, he asked, did Scotsmen and Welshmen care about
subordinate Parliaments when they were governing the whole Empire? If
the advocates of the proposal really believed in it let them go out as
missionaries into the wilderness, and, if they escaped the proverbial
fate of missionaries, convert the heathen voters to their creed.
Thereupon Lord BRASSEY, his brow bloody but unbowed, intimated that
"a time would come," and meanwhile withdrew his motion.
At Question-time Mr. BONAR LAW indignantly denied a newspaper rumour
from Paris that the British delegates had decided not to demand any
money-indemnity from Germany, but took occasion later on to discount
somewhat freely the election-promises made on this subject by himself
and other Ministers. It would be better, he implied, to accept a
composition than to put the debtor into the Bankruptcy Court. This
is common sense, no doubt, always provided that the Hun does not
misinterpret his reprieve, and, instead of laying golden eggs for
our benefit, resume the practice of the goose-step.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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