Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, March 12, 1919Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, March 12, 1919
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
On the Civil Service Estimates, swollen to five times their pre-war
magnitude, Mr. BALDWIN made an earnest appeal for economy. If every
man would ask himself, "What can I do for the State?" instead of "What
can I get out of it?" we might yet emerge safely from our financial
straits. The House, as usual, cheered this fine sentiment to the echo,
and, to show how thoroughly it had gone home, Mr. ADAMSON, the Labour
leader, immediately pressed for an increase in the salaries of Members
of Parliament.
_Thursday, March 6th_.--The CHIEF SECRETARY FOR IRELAND announced that
the Government had decided to release such of the Sinn Fein prisoners
as had not already saved them the trouble.
History does not always repeat itself. The first JOSIAH WEDGWOOD
enhanced his fame by a faithful reproduction of the Portland Vase.
JOSIAH the Second, essaying a fancy portrait of the present Duke of
PORTLAND (in his capacity of a coal-owner), was less fortunate in the
likeness, and this afternoon handsomely withdrew it from circulation.
The Second Reading of the new Military Service Bill brought a
storm of accusations against the Government for having broken its
election-pledges. Had not the PRIME MINISTER and his colleagues gone
to the country on a cry of "No Conscription"? The Member for Derby
was particularly emphatic in his denunciation; but Mr. CHURCHILL
effectively countered him by quoting Mr. THOMAS'S own translation of
the pledges in question as meaning "Militarism and Conscription."
A little rift within the Coalition lute was revealed when Mr. SHAW
remarked that some people seemed to want "to make this country a fit
place for casuists to live in;" but the House as a whole took the view
that without an assured peace it would be no place for any one, and
passed the Second Reading by an overwhelming majority.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Conductor_. "OUTSIDE ONLY!"]
* * * * *
THE SENTINELS.
Up and down the nurs'ry stair
All through the night
There are Fairy Sentinels
Watching till it's light;
If they ever went to sleep
The Big Clock would tell;
But, Left-Right! Left-Right!
They know their duty well;
I needn't mind a Bogey or a Giant or a Bear,
The Sentinels are watching on the nurs'ry stair!
Up and down the nurs'ry stair
All through the day
There the Fairy Sentinels
Sleep the time away;
If you were to wake them up,
Think how tired they'd be,
So Tip-toe! Tip-toe!
Go upstairs quietly.
Yes, that's the very reason we have carpets on the stair--
The Sentinels are sleeping, and we must take care.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _She_. "THEY SAY THE VICAR TALKS IN HIS SLEEP."
_He_. "VERY LIKELY. HE TALKS IN MINE."]
* * * * *
THE SPACE PROBLEM.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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