Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, March 12, 1919Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, March 12, 1919
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
One more sign of old age there is, which I may briefly describe. He is
always much agitated when his mistress packs her boxes to depart to an
institution for higher education of which she is a member. While this
is going forward, Soo-ti will not stir from her room except it be to
couch in the passage outside. Thence he re-transfers himself to her
room, and has been known, when the chief box is full of garments, to
leap into it, to pad round in a circle three times, and to sink down
with a sigh of satisfaction on what was once a very artistic bit of
packing. I do not say that this trick is entirely due to old age.
Nearly all dogs do it. Only there was on the last occasion a special
anxiety, and a more than usual persistence and querulousness which
seemed to say, "Don't go too far away, and come back soon, so that
we may meet again before my eyes grow dim and my ears lose their
keenness."
* * * * *
"In future all unmarried men and women having an income of $1,000
will be taxed by the city. Married men will not be taxed unless
their income is over $1,500,000."--_Canadian Gazette_.
The poor fellows must have some compensation.
* * * * *
THE TEST OF FRIENDSHIP.
["C.K.S.," in _The Sphere_, describing his numerous visits to
GEORGE MEREDITH at Box Hill, tells us that in no real sense can
he claim to have been an intimate friend; "but then," he adds, "I
always make the test of intimate friendship when people call one
another by their Christian names."]
The use of Christian names, says "C.K.S."
Is intimacy's truest test; but "George,"
When he was down at Dorking, (as you guess)
Stuck quite inextricably in his gorge;
And to the end he never got beyond
The Mister, though a faithful friend and fond.
How sad to think this barrier was never
Demolished, broken down and swept away,
But still remained to sunder and to sever
Two of the choicest spirits of our day!
For MEREDITH, though radiant, genial, kind,
On this one point showed an inclement mind.
The case was simplified in days of eld;
HOMER, for instance, had no Christian name,
And an Athenian bookman, if impelled
To visit him at Chios, when he came
Across the blind old poet and beach-comber,
Addressed him probably _tout court_ as HOMER.
PYTHAGORAS was never Jack or Jim--
Names all unknown in ages pre-Socratic;
And SHORTER could not have accosted him
By _sobriquets_ endearing or ecstatic;
It would have certainly provoked a scene,
For instance, to have hailed him as "Old bean."
Then at the "Mermaid," had he been invited
As an illustrious brother of the quill,
Would "C.K.S.," I wonder, have delighted
To honour WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE as "Old Bill,"
And in the small uproarious hours A.M.
Have been in turn acclaimed as "Bully CLEM"?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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