Perchance; who knows? The mystery is sealed; Hypothesis, though plausible, is vain; What might have been can never be revealed, But one momentous fact at least is plain: We know from an authoritative quarter That MEREDITH was never "George" to SHORTER. * * * * * THE TWOPENNY EGG. The daily press informs us that we are "in sight of the twopenny egg." On making inquiries we learn that this phenomenon will be invisible at Greenwich, but may be viewed from the North of Scotland, a region happily less inaccessible than many to which scientific expeditions have in the past been made. At the time of writing opinions differ as to the best point for observation, but it is probable that the island of Foula, in the Shetland group, will be chosen. * * * * * "Masters and men are visibly strained by the crisis. They all know that they are sitting on a volcano. The prelude is all icy suspicion."--_Mr. JAMES DOUGLAS in "The Star"._ It won't be the volcano's fault if the ice doesn't get melted. * * * * * "The complainant was ascending the staircase of the club when he met the defendant, who, speaking of Lemberg, said Lemberg belonged to Russia. Complainant replied: 'No, it is in Poland; it cannot belong to Russia,' when the defendant struck him with some sharp instrument on the top of the head, and the stars had not yet completely healed."--_Evening Paper_. The constellation referred to must, we think, have been the Great Bear. * * * * * [Illustration: THE DOPED LION. A STORY OF ANCIENT ROME.] * * * * * THE GAME OF THE TELEPHONE. True sportsmen will regret Mr. ILLINGWORTH'S statement, made recently in the House, when he said, "I have every expectation that the [telephone] service will improve." By "improve" he no doubt meant that when we ring up a number in future we shall simply get it; that people who want us will be able to get us, and so on. It is a dismal prospect. I only hope the improvement will be delayed until I get my own back. I have been playing rather a bad line lately, and only this morning lost a set by one game to two. * * * * * The operator won the first game before I could get into my stride. She rang me up three times in five minutes, and each time put me on to nobody. This was a very bad start, and I determined that I must at least give her a game. So the third time I held on, mechanically knocking the semi-circular ring arrangement up and down. There is always a chance that your signal may be working, and it annoys the operator. But she beat me by a swift stroke. "What number do you want?" she asked cynically. I said, "Well played, Sir--Madam!" Then she rubbed it in with a parting shot: "Sorry you have been terroubled," she said, and cut me off. Love--one.