DEAR SIRS,--I received your wire, but regret that I cannot comply with your request. Firstly, because I have already accepted the picture which you regarded as mine or its equivalent, in place of the one that was mine and is now yours; and, secondly, because my friend the feoffee has already bought it, the one that was yours and is now mine, or rather his (you know what I mean, don't you?), and I haven't the heart to ask him to return it. Perhaps yours (the one that is now yours and was mine before), being the equivalent of the one that was yours and is now mine (or rather the feoffee's), would suit your client. I can only suggest your having another look for it; the matter so far as I am concerned is at an end. Yours faithfully, THEOPHILUS B. PIPER-CARY. P.S.--You'll know it when you find it. There's a red cow in the background. * * * * * "Sentence of Mike Ancon, found guilty of housekeeping, was postponed yesterday afternoon."--_Manitoba Free Press._ This species of crime is almost extinct in England. * * * * * [Illustration: THE "HESITATION" WALTZ.] * * * * * THE RISING EGG. Whatever may be the decline in the price of eggs their social movement is clearly upwards. The following passage from _The Croydon Advertiser_ gives an admirable life-history of the egg, from shell to profit-sharing:-- "Eggs will be dated and graded and sold accordingly, and as soon as they have done laying fattened for table purposes, also young cockerels. They will be killed and plucked, and the feathers will be sorted and sold in the best markets. So you see they will receive full market price for their produce; then if they are shareholders they will receive a further profit in the difference between the cost and the selling, also the very big amounts received for the skins and the feathers." * * * * * [Illustration: HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL. _Oldest Inhabitant._ "I NEVER EXPECTED TO LIVE TILL THE END OF THE WAR, MA'AM; BUT NOW I'M HOPING TO BE SPARED TO SEE THE BEGINNING OF THE NEXT ONE."] * * * * * CHOICE BOOKS OF THE WEEK. THE NEW PARIS SKETCH-BOOK; OR, THE FIRST FIFTY THOUSAND. By GLADYS FLAPPERTON, O.B.E., Author of _Peace and Plenty of It._ This charming volume describes in detail the delightful Parisian holiday which has been provided by the Government under the best possible conditions for young ladies with (and without) a knowledge of typewriting. * * * * * _TIGER LILY, A POEM IN FOURTEEN SPASMS._ By WOODROW WILSON. Affectionately dedicated to M. CLEMENCEAU. * * * * * THE HISTORY OF FREDERICK THE GREAT. BY HAROLD SMITH, M.P. ("England's Harold.") With an Introduction by the LORD CHANCELLOR.