* * * * * O SMILLIE, WE HAVE MISSED YOU, AND OTHER LYRICS. Highly recommended by Messrs. MUDIE and SANKEY (the Author). Copies of this beautiful work have been accepted by several mining royalties. * * * * * THE GEDDES BIOGRAPHICAL DICTIONARY. Publication of the Second Volume (AUC--ERIC). It is hoped to complete in twelve handsome volumes this the first attempt to record and codify the achievements and services of the GEDDES family in the Great War. * * * * * WASTEWARD HO! A ROMANCE OF CIPPENHAM. With an Introductory Apologia by Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL. * * * * * THE NEXT WAR. ["As the result of a conference called by the War Office it has been decided to wage a war of annihilation against the warble-fly. It is hoped that by means of concerted action through the country this pestilent insect, so injurious to the hides of horses and cattle, may be completely stamped out." _Daily Paper._] The warble-fly, the warble-fly Is absolutely doomed to die. They've summoned all the General Staff, There's going to be a mighty "strafe," And soon the land from shore to shore Will echo with the din of war, As armèd hosts with martial cries Descend upon the warble-flies. We've got the shells, we've got the guns (The same that overwhelmed the Huns), And, what is more, we've got the Man; With WINSTON riding in the van I do not think there's any doubt That we shall put the foe to rout, And, scorning peace by compromise, Annihilate the warble-flies. In tranquil peace the gentle beeves Shall chew their cud through summer eves; No more shall that alarming warble Affright the calm of heifer or bull, And send them snorting round the croft With eyes of fear and tails aloft. Till every warble-fly be floored Whitehall will _never_ sheathe the sword. * * * * * The Growth of Impropriety. "Her hair is always exquisitely dressed, and her shoes in perfect shape. No more in the way of dress is required of any woman." _Daily Mirror._ * * * * * "PROPOSED IMPROVEMENT OF A DANGEROUS CORONER." _Headline in Provincial Paper._ The best plan, possibly, would be to get the jury to sit on him. * * * * * [Illustration: NEWSPAPER HEADINGS POPULARLY ILLUSTRATED. "INFLUENZA MICROBE DISCOVERED AT A LONDON HOSPITAL."] * * * * * MRS. BLOGGINS'S STATEMENT.