There the matter might have ended if the fat Roley had not lurched up again the next day with a steel box containing a dial-sight off a field-gun. The dial-sight was a complicated affair of prisms and lenses which probably cost the Bosch about sixty pounds, and we felt a little sick at having overlooked such a find. "Awful job I had too," he went on. "Some fellows were seen yesterday taking stuff away and they've put a sentry on the train." "Serve them right," we said. Next day we returned to the trucks to try again. The sentry was engaged in a little conversation, and whilst Chardenal took his photograph (ostensibly for _The Daily Snap_ as "Sentry Guarding a Train") I slipped behind the trucks, opened a couple of lids in the tails of some field-guns, picked out two cases of sights and hurried off. Chardenal joined me later and, concealing our swag under our British warms, we walked as quickly as we could until the Brigadier stopped and had a little chat with us about things in general. And there we had to stand for a quarter of an hour on a freezing afternoon with two fingers holding the box and the other fingers holding the coat down to effect better concealment. Chardenal was in so much pain and wore such an expression of agonized innocence that the Brigadier wanted him to come into headquarters until he felt better. "Well, what have you got?" asked Carfax, another candidate for demobilisation, when we finally got back and showed him the cases. "Only two?" he cried, "and you promised _me_ one!" We said things. "What lenses are they?" he asked. "I don't know," said Chardenal, "but, whatever's the heaviest kind, that's the kind we've brought." And we opened the boxes and they were empty. The baronial hall will remain unfurnished. I'm fed up with the whole business. L. * * * * * [Illustration: _Farmer_ (_to land-girl, who has been sent to feed the pigs_). "WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SWILL BACK?" _Land Girl_. "WELL, THEY WERE ASLEEP AND LOOKED SO COMFY--I SIMPLY HADN'T THE HEART TO DISTURB THEM."] * * * * * THE LANGUAGE TEST FOR V.A.D.'S. From an Official Form of Application for stripes:-- "I certify that these Members have diligently attended their duties at the Hospital, are always neat in appearance, punctual in their habits and proficient in their cursing. I recommend they be allowed to enter for the Blue Stripe Examination." * * * * * From the announcement of a musical service:-- "Soprano Solo, 'With Verger clad'. (_Creation_), Miss Dorothy ----,"--_Canadian Paper_. Quite a new "creation." * * * * * [Illustration: CASTING PEARLS. _Philistine_ (_who has been dragged by wife to Jazz tea-shop_). "WHAT IS IT THEY'BE TRYING TO PLAY, DEAR?" _Modern Wife_. "OH, YOU WOULDN'T BE ANY THE WISER.--NOTHING OUT OF 'THE BOHEMIAN GIRL.'"] * * * * *