THE HOUSE HISTRIONIC. The enterprise of Mr. C.B. COCHRAN, who announces that the oak-parlour used in his play at the St. Martin's Theatre will be sold by auction at the conclusion of the run, has not unnaturally provoked a certain liveliness in architectural circles. Should advertisements of houses for sale ever reappear in the newspapers, it is thought likely that they may include something like this:-- Desirable Family Mansion of unique interest, suit dramatist seeking congenial associations. Exceptionally fine dining-hall, as used in the supper scene in _Macbeth_, and equipped with convenient _Banquo_ sliding-panel to kitchen. The latter apartment deserves the epithet Baronial, being transported direct from the successful pantomime, _Puss-in-Boots_, and capable of accommodating a ballet of two hundred cooks. The elegantly proportioned drawing-room (to which a fourth wall has been since added) was the subject of special mention in several leading newspapers after the production of _Epigrams_ at the Niobe Theatre; while each of the twelve bedrooms represents some recent triumph in the Problematical Drama. An attractive feature is the fitting of an artificial sunlight attachment to the outside of each window; while every room is provided with one or more telephones. Snug Bachelor Flat, direct from the phenomenally successful farce, _Peers and Pyjamas_, at the Plenipotentiaries Theatre. The fine central living-room contains sixteen doors, opening into bedrooms, kitchen, coal-cellar, etc. May be as conveniently entered by the window as by the doors. All the latter work upon the well-known dramatic hinge, by which as soon as one shuts another opens. Unlimited facilities for hide-and-seek. Exceptional opportunity for active tenant. * * * * * From _The Mistress of Court Regina_, by Mr. CHARLES GARVICE:-- "He kissed her, taking his cigarette out of his mouth to do so." This courteous consideration is invariably shown in the best circles. * * * * * [Illustration: _Geordie_. "WELL, AH'M BLOWED! THEY'M NAMED YON PLAACE AFTER T'OWD DOOG-OUT ON T' SOMME!"] * * * * * THE SUBALTERNS' PARADISE. I met Bilsden and congratulated him on being in "civvies." "What are you going to do now?" I asked. "Back to the old firm?" "No," said Bilsden gravely; "when a man has acquired the power of leading men he's thrown away in an accountant's office, especially as the junior member of the staff. I see no prospect in England. I have offered to take charge of large departments of English firms, and be responsible for entire supervision, but they fail to recognise what the capacity for leadership gained in the army will do. I'm off to Ceylon--tea-planting. Just to control big gangs of coolies and see that they work. It will be child's play for me. Lovely climate; elephants. An absolutely ideal job."