E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Sandra Brown, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 15615-h.htm or 15615-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/5/6/1/15615/15615-h/15615-h.htm) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/5/6/1/15615/15615-h.zip) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 158 MARCH 17, 1920 CHARIVARIA. PRINCE ALBERT JOACHIM, it appears, did not take part in the attack on a French officer at the Hotel Adlon, but only gave the signal. Always the little Hohenzollern! *** It seems that at the last moment Mr. C. B. COCHRAN broke off negotiations for the exclusive right to organise the CARPENTIER wedding. *** "Will Scotland go dry?" asks _The Daily Express_. Not on purpose, we imagine. *** A new method of stopping an omnibus by a foot-lever has been patented. This is much better than the old plan of shaking one's umbrella at them. *** Mr. LLOYD GEORGE, we read, makes a study of handwriting. The only objection that _The Times_ has to this habit is that he positively refuses to notice the writing on the wall. *** It is rumoured that the Government will construct an experimental tunnel between England and the United States in order (1) to cement Anglo-American friendship, and (2) to ascertain if the Channel Tunnel is practicable. *** Dr. C.W. COLBY, head of the Department of History, has taken Sir AUCLAND GEDDES' place as Principal of McGill University. The report that Sir AUCKLAND will reciprocate by taking a place in history awaits confirmation. *** "It is quite usual nowadays," a well-known auctioneer states, "for mill hands to keep a few orchids." We understand that by way of a counter-stroke a number of noblemen are threatening to go in for runner ducks. *** A Rotherham couple who have just celebrated their diamond wedding have never tasted medicine. We ourselves have always maintained that the taste is an acquired one. *** A Greenland falcon has been shot in the Orkneys. The view is widely taken that the wretched bird, which must have known it wasn't in Greenland, brought the trouble on itself. *** An alleged anarchist arrested in Munich was identified as a poet and found Not Guilty--not guilty, that is to say, of being an anarchist. *** With reference to the pending retirement of Mr. ROBERT SMILLIE from the Presidency of the Miners' Federation, it appears that there is talk of arranging a farewell strike. *** The _Berlin Vorwaerts_ states that ex-Emperor CARL has been discovered in Hungary under an assumed name. The Hungarian authorities say that unless he is claimed within three days he will be sold to defray expenses. ***