"Whom in the world are you talking about?" muttered my wife. "Monsieur will readily understand," I said wickedly, "that I allude to my wife and their parents. I hope they will bring his brother with them." "'Her,' you should say," my wife put in with the suspicion of a snap. "There's only Johnny and me." "It was of Johnny I spoke," I assured her. "And, by the way, if you haven't heard the latest gossip it may interest you to hear that the young rascal has formed an attachment, and is very proud of her _fiancee_. She is an awfully pretty girl and quite athletic as well--in fact, his arm is not nearly so small as Johnny's isn't, and his carriage is perfect. Their eyes are lovely, while a poet would rave about his sweet nose, her rosebud mouth and their longs blacks hairs. Their shoes--" "Oh, stop!" cried my wife. "You're muddling me all up. Are you talking about Johnny or--" "Name of a pipe, my cabbage," I said, determined to give her logic with swear-words and endearments as well, "where has your reasoning gone to? Any logical Frenchman would tell you at once that I wasn't talking about Johnny, but about her girl. As I was saying, their shoes have each a dinky Gibson bow on her." "M'sieu'," reflected M. du Val in his polite way, "I begin to think zat you are getting ze advantage over me." "Don't take any notice of him, Mosseer," pleaded my wife indignantly; "he's only pulling your leg." "Pulling my--?" The Frenchman cogitated for a minute; then he understood and smiled in a superior way again. "All the same," he murmured quietly, "we French 'ave not _all_ ze illogicalness, _n'est ce pas_?" "Not quite all," I cheerfully agreed. "By the way, would you like to come with us this afternoon to the great Review in Hyde Park? Her Majesty the KING will be there, also the QUEEN and very likely His Royal Highness Princess MARY--" "I come wiz muchness of pleasure," assented our guest very hurriedly. Then, being a thorough little sportsman, he added with a bow:-- "If M'sieu' could persuade _'er_ wife to wear _'is_ new 'at, so veray charming?" * * * * * =Another Apology Wanted.= "AN ATTRACTIVE EVENT AT ---- CHAPEL. LADY ABSENT FOR FIRST TIME FOR FIFTY YEARS." _Provincial Paper._ * * * * * "Dogs frequently go straight to destruction in this way, but an official of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Animals told an _Evening News_ representative he did not think they had suicidal intentions."--_Evening News._ If they had there would be less need for the Society. * * * * * "Persian Rugs for Sale by gentleman recently returned from Persia; various designs, old and modern; no dealers; preferably after six evenings."--_Daily Paper._ This gentleman seems to have brought back with him the methods of the Oriental bazaar. Six evenings is about the average time for adjusting a bargain.