Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 159, December 22, 1920Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 159, December 22, 1920
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Then the batsmen made a muddle about a run and found themselves in the
common but embarrassing position of being both at the wicket-keeper's
end. The ball had gone to Eric and he had only to throw it in to
Charles, who was bowling, for Charles to put the wicket down. But
in one of those flashes of inspiration which betray true genius he
realised that in the circumstances that was just what Charles would
_not_ do. Direct action was the only thing. So, ball in hand, he
started at high velocity towards the wicket himself.
He was a Rugger Blue (I told you) and a three-quarter at that, so he
went fairly fast. However, the batsman saw that he had a faint hope
after all, and he ran too. It was an heroic race, but the batsman
had less distance to go. Eric saw that he was losing, and from a few
yards' range he madly flung the ball at the wicket. He missed the
wicket, but he hit Charles very hard on the shin, which was something.
I fancy he must have hit Pallas Athene as well, for with the very next
ball she gave Charles his sixth wicket.
By this time the game had resolved itself into an Homeric combat
between the two protagonists, of which the main bodies of the Balbus
and Caramel armies were merely neutral spectators--neutral, that is,
so far as they had not been hired out for some dastard service by one
or other of the duellists.
When Eric went in it was clear that Juno had come down to help him,
for he made three runs in eight balls without being bowled once. Then
Charles came in. His first ball he hit slowly between mid-off and
cover, and he called for a run. All unsuspecting, Eric cantered down
the pitch. When he was half-way Charles seemed to be seized with the
sort of panic which sometimes possesses a batsman. "No, no!" he cried.
"Go back! go back!" And he scuttled back himself. Juno fortunately
intervened and Eric just got home in time. But he realised now what he
was up against. His next ball he hit towards mid-wicket, and shouting
"Come on!" he galloped up the pitch. Charles came on gingerly,
expecting to be sent back, but Eric duly passed him; he then turned
round and just raced Charles back to the wicket-keeper's end. Charles
was only a Soccer Blue (and a goal-keeper at that), and Eric won.
"After that," said Eric with his usual modesty, "it was easy."
Eyewitnesses, however, have told me more. Juno dealt with the Caramel
bowlers, but Eric had to compete with Charles. And Charles resorted to
every kind of devilish expedient. Nearly all the Balbus batsmen were
bribed to run Eric out, and whenever he hit a boundary Eric had to
stop and reason with them in the middle of the pitch. Sometimes he
tried to outbid Charles, but he usually found that he couldn't afford
it. So he collared the bowling as much as possible and tried not to
hit anything but boundaries. Juno helped him a good bit in that way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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