_Pace_ SHAKSPEARE, there would seem to be something in a name. * * * * * "THAT QUEER FISH THE SALMON. Some fish are 'takers,' some are not, but most salmon can be worried into talking."--_Daily Paper._ Whereas most fishermen chatter of their own accord. * * * * * [Illustration: _Fair Skipper._ "WIND GETTIN' UP NICELY--WHAT?"] * * * * * HARDING AND COX. (_Being an inquiry into the two Candidates for the Presidency of the United States of America._) I wish I knew some facts regarding The private life of Mr. HARDING; I wish that I had simply stocks Of anecdotes of Mr. COX. In U.S.A. (where both are resident And each one hoping to be President) Their favourite hymns, their size in boots, Their views on liquor and cheroots Are known to all; not JULIUS CAESAR Is quite so much renowned as these are. In England, where they do not dwell, No one appears to know them well. One cannot say if COX'S liver Keeps well upon the Swanee River, Nor whether HARDING finds, when glum, Any relief in chewing gum. It may be that they both have good rows Of dental ornaments like WOODROW'S, The waist of TAFT, the ROOSEVELT eye For pinking hippopotami. It may be HARDING had some flickers Of CLEVELAND'S spirit whilst in knickers, And COX while yet a puling babe Dreamed tiny dreams of LINCOLN (ABE); And both, although they knew they'd catch it, Cut fruit-trees with a little hatchet; Both may have been, when glorious youths, Too proud to fight or tell untruths. I cannot say. I know they wrangle On points I dare not disentangle, That one of them's a Democrat And t' other's not. And that is that. EVOE. * * * * * GEE! On the upper floors of a shop in the Strand, between Wellington Street and the Savoy, is a well-known maker of fowling-pieces, who gave me a terrible start the other day; and probably not me alone, but many passers-by who chanced to look upwards at his windows. For he is at the moment advertising the most undesirable article in the world, a commodity for which I can conceive of no demand whatever. Yet there--the result of the caprice of adhesive cement or the desire of one letter of the alphabet to get level with its neighbour and be dropped too--the amazing notice is, in conspicuous white enamel:-- SECOND HAND UNS. * * * * * THE DOMESTIC PROBLEM SOLVED. "A Lady wishes to meet with a gentleman or lady to share her home as sole paying guest; one with a hobby for gardening preferred; every home comfort; terms, L300 per annum."--_Sunday Paper._ We are desirous of entertaining, on the same terms, a lady (or gentleman) with a _penchant_ for cooking and washing-up. * * * * *