"Rather. Here is our answer to Lord--better not give the name, perhaps; the creation is recent. He wished for a Crusader, but we explained that the Crusades were not under Government. We offer to introduce his family name into our authorised supplement to the Domesday Book for five thousand pounds. I call it cheap at the money. Now what can we do for you?" "I must think it over," I stammered. "Do. You will come back. Pair of Colours, now, for a great-great-grandfather. How would that suit you? Only five hundred. Or a place at Court in the Regency? Or, if you wish good business connection, a directorship of the East India Company? The whole of the past lies before you. Give your children a fair start in life, that is what we say. Money is good, education is better, but distinguished ancestry is best of all." * * * * * =Stitches in Time.= "The breeches on the line between Sini and Jhursagudha have now been repaired."--_Civil and Military Gazette._ * * * * * "The King has given Mr. William Armstrong, Director of Criminal Intelligence of the Shanghai Municipal Police, authority to wear the Insignia of the Fourth Class of the Order of the Excellent Crop, conferred on him by the President of the Republic of China, in recognition of valuable services."--_Times._ We understand that extreme shortness of hair is not the hall-mark of the Chinese criminal world. * * * * * [Illustration: UNDER A CLOUD (WITH A GOLDEN LINING). COMRADE LANSBURY. "THANKS TO MY FAITHFUL BROLSKI NOT A DROP HAS TOUCHED ME." [_Loud crows from "Daily Herald" bird._]] * * * * * [Illustration: _Horrified Sister_ (_to small artist_). "MABEL, YOU'RE SURELY NOT SUCKING YOUR BRUSH WHEN YOU'RE PAINTING TOADSTOOLS?"] * * * * * KINGS AND QUEENS. There are thirty-six of them in all, ranging from WILLIAM I., who is "severe," to VICTORIA, who is just "good." I first made their acquaintance in childhood, when my grandmother gave them me with the laudable object of teaching me history. Each is a little wooden block signifying a monarch. On one side there is a portrait showing the face, collar and upper portion of torso of the monarch in question; on the other side there is written a single word summing up his whole character.