_Ladies of Chorus (all together)_. Am I too black under the eyes, dear? Mind where you're going, Miss, please! Treading on people's toes like that--the great clumsy thing! I'm next to you, aren't I? I do feel so funny, my dear, don't you? For goodness sake, don't go setting me on the giggle _now_! [_They range themselves modestly in a row at edge of platform_. _Rude Person (in upper box with Punch squeak)_. Rooti-too-ti! [_Roars of laughter_. _Ladies of C. (indignantly)_. Beast! I wish they'd give him something to make him rooti-toot, I do! _Conductor-Composer (from behind)_. Now, Ladies, ready please--keep the laugh steadier than you did last time, and wait for me at the repeat! [_He taps on desk: each Lady of Chorus stiffens herself perceptibly and makes a little grimace_. _One Lady (in whisper)_, Oh, dear, I wish I was at home with my Ma! [_Her companions giggle_. _The H. R. M_. It's as much as they can do to sing for laughing--they're _called_ "Laughing Beauties," though. I like this one's face up at this end--she's so quiet and lady-like over it, and pretty too; they put all the pretty ones in front, but there's one quite an old woman behind. They're having all the fun down at the other end--how they are going on, to be sure! [_End of Vocal Valse: loud applause. Ladies of Chorus retire after_ encore _with air of graceful dignity_. _The Person with the Squeak_. Goo'-bye, duckies! [_Roars of laughter again: renewed indignation among Chorus_. Person with Squeak _feels like_ +Sheridan+ _and_ +Theodore Hook+ _rolled into one_. +In the Grand Circle.+ _A Young Gentleman (who has set himself to form his_ fiancée's _mind, but finds it necessary to proceed very gradually_). Now, +Caroline+, tell me--isn't this better than if we had gone to the Circus? _Caroline (from the provinces; unmusical; simple in her tastes)_. Yes, +Joseph+, only--(_timidly_)--there's more of what I call variety in a Circus--more going _on_, I mean. _The Y. G. (with a sense of discouragement)_. I quite see your meaning, dear, and it's an entirely true observation; still, you _do_ appreciate this magnificent orchestra, don't you now? _Caroline_. I should have liked it better with different coloured curtains--maize is so trying. _The Y. G. (mentally)_. I won't write home to them about it _just_ yet. _Orchestra begins a "Musical Medley" with Overture to "Tannhäuser."_ _The Y. G. (who has lost his programme)_. Now, +Caroline+--this is +Wagner+--you'll like +Wagner+, darling, I'm sure. _Caroline (startled)_. Shall I? Where is he? Will he come in here? Must I speak to him? _The Y. G_. No, no--he's _dead_--I mean, this is from his _Opera_--you must listen to this. [_He watches her face for the emotion he expects; "Tannhäuser" melts suddenly into "Tommy, Make Room for your Uncle."_ _Caroline (her face absolutely transfigured)_. Oh, +Joseph+, dear--+Wagner's+ perfectly _lovely_!