[Illustration: An excellent Range-Finder.] * * * * * [Illustration: A DAY IN THE COUNTRY. _Little Tommy (who has never been out of Whitechapel before)._ "OH! OH! OH!" _Kind Lady._ "WHAT'S THE MATTER, TOMMY?" _Little Tommy._ "WHY, WHAT A BIG SKY THEY'VE GOT 'ERE, MISS!"] * * * * * AT THE NAVAL REVIEW. _Neptune (to Vulcan)._ Hillo, Mate, _you_ here? _Vulcan._ Yes, my hearty; why _not_? _Neptune._ Well, my ancient monopoly's all gone to pot. You've been "inching it in," for a number of years; Your Lemnos no longer has charms, it appears To detain you on shore. Once a Naval Review To a smithy-smoked game-legged land-lubber like you---- _Vulcan._ Oh, avast heaving there, Mate! _Neptune._ By Jove, he's as pat At our nautical patter as DIBDIN, that's flat. Can't you tip us "_Tom Bowling_"? _Vulcan._ Aye! (_sings_) "Here a sheer hulk"---- _Neptune._ Oh, stop! _What_ a voice for a chap of your bulk! 'Tis as shrill as a file-squeak, and equally mellow. _Vulcan._ Oh yes, you old Stentor, a big breezy bellow Is your _sole_ idea of a song. _Neptune (offering his 'baccy-box amicably)._ Have a quid? _Vulcan._ I don't care if I do. But you know as a kid After leaving Olympus---- _Neptune._ Ha! ha! A fair "chuck." Poor Juno! She felt she was quite out of luck, To bear such a skinny young dot-and-go-one. _Vulcan._ Oh, if these are your manners---- _Neptune._ Pooh! Only my fun. Fire away with your yarn. Let's see, where had you got to? _Vulcan._ You know that I lived some nine years in a grotto, With Thetis, that _belle_ of the Ocean, and therefore I'm _not_ such a land-lubber. Not that I care for Your coarse briny flouts, my old Mulberry-nose. _Neptune._ Humph! You've turned a teetotaller now, I suppose, And should I sing "Hey! Ho! and a bottle of rum," You'd not join in the song--or the swizzle? _Vulcan._ Oh, come, We have no WILFRID LAWSON in Sicily yet; All my Cyclops would strike. Yes! I'm game for a "wet." _Neptune._ That's hearty. Now, then, you young TRITON, look slippy, Fetch up t'other bottle. I feel rather nippy. And then the occasion! BRITANNIA'S my dear, We must drink to her health in this Jubilee Year. _Vulcan._ I'm glad you say "We."