_17th._--Queen's Weather as settled as ever. Great drought commences. London Water Companies cut off their supply. Five o'clock tea in Belgravia made from boiled soda-water. Apollinaris supplied in buckets, for washing purposes, at the rate of twenty guineas the dozen pint bottles. _21st._--Queen's Weather showing no signs of departure, fifteen umbrella-manufacturers go through the Bankruptcy Court, and commit suicide. Dust in London becomes intolerable. A Nobleman in Mayfair has Piccadilly watered with BASS'S India Pale Ale. _27th._--Queen's Weather established. The Thames runs dry between Vauxhall and Westminster. The SPEAKER gives a garden-party in the bed of the river. _Café noir_, made of ink, served as a refreshment. _31st._--Queen's Weather still continuing, seventeen ginger-beer manufacturers who have become _millionnaires_ are raised to the Peerage. The LORD MAYOR goes off his head, and, imagining that he is the Old Pump at Aldgate, is removed, by general consent, to Colney Hatch. * * * * * FLOREAT MASCHERA! A GREAT deal of curiosity has been expressed about the Gray's Inn _Maske of Flowers_, which has puzzled a number of people. The better informed have replied, when asked, "What _was_ it?" "Oh, don't you know what a Maske is? Why _Comus_ was a Maske, don't you know?" To save time and temper, _Mr. Punch_ begs to inform all inquirers that:-- 1. "Gray's Inn" is the Inn where the poet GRAY always stopped when he came to town. It has always been associated with Poets. 2. This _Maske of Flowers_ is not Mr. CYRIL FLOWER, M.P.'s. 3. It is highly improbable that the Benchers of the Four Inns of Court will appear in Fancy Costume at four o'clock in the morning, and serenade the occupants of the Western Face of Gray's Inn Square from the Gardens. 4. The Maske is not so called from everybody in Gray's Inn appearing in "big heads." 5. The LORD CHANCELLOR is not introduced as Harlequin, and does not dance a _pas seul_ with "Mr. SOLICITOR," founded upon some of the more intricate steps of the _pavan_, or peacock's strut. 6. That it is not the duty of the Master of the Revels to teach the Masters of the Bench how to execute with spirit a Morisco. Having said what the Maske will _not_ be, _Mr. Punch_ goes a step further--and stops, thinking it will be better to reserve particulars until after the Performance. * * * * * EVERY Etonian ought to go to the Gaiety and hear Mr. MERRIVALE'S new piece, of which Mrs. BROWN-POTTER is the heroine. Why ought every Etonian to do this? We forgot to mention that the name of the play is _Civil Warre_. (If it isn't so spelt, it ought to be.) * * * * * ROYALTY AT THE PALACE. [Illustration: Cockney notion of A-making.]