_Enter_ BELINDA, _the Nursery-maid. The usual amatory scene follows. They both disappear, as_ TIFFINGTON SPINKS _enters made up as_ "Colonel DEBENHAM," _with a saffron complexion, a grey moustache, a red tie and an iron-grey wig. He shivers. A great deal of preliminary applause. He bows with dignity, conscious of his fame, and proceeds._ _Col. Debenham._ "Ugh! how horribly cold this is. I shall have to speak seriously to SHORTHORN about the state of his fires." _Penelope the Parrot_ (_suddenly and with terrible distinctness_). "Old fool!" [_A titter from the irreverent._ SPINKS _pays no heed to the interruption._ _Lady Surbiton._ How awful! I declare I haven't heard Penelope speak for six months. I hope to heaven she won't do it again. _Mrs. Gagmore._ I thought it sounded so natural. _Lord S._ So it did, that's why it was so out of place. He's getting on all right now, though. _Col. Debenham_ (_concluding a peppery soliloquy_). "And as for Lady SHORTHORN and that spiteful cat of a sister of hers, all I can say of TOM DEBENHAM is----" _Penelope_ (_loudly_). "Old fool!" [_Whistles up and down the scale. Much laughter._ SPINKS _feels that violent measures are necessary if the piece is not to be utterly ruined. He perceives_ JARP _standing at the wings made up as_ BINNS _the Butler. A happy thought flashes on him. He nods meaningly at_ JARP. _Col. Debenham_ (_improvising gag_). "Oh, confound that bird! I must have it removed. I'll ring for the butler." [_Rings. Enter_ JARP _as_ BINNS. _Binns._ "'Er Ladyship's compliments, Colonel DEBENHAM, and she would like----" _Spinks_ (_in a whisper of concentrated fury to_ JARP). Not yet; take that infernal parrot away, quick! _Jarp_ (_loses his head; still the Butler is strong within him_). "'Er Ladyship is served!" _Spinks_ (_aloud_). "Oh, nonsense--nonsense, man! You're an idiot. Here, take this bird, and kill it!" [_Seizes cage, thrusts it into the flustered_ JARP'S _arms, and pushes him off, the Parrot, horribly frightened, yelling, "Old fool!"_ _Lady Surbiton._ How dare he speak of Penelope in that way? Kill her! If Mr. JARP so much as lays a finger upon her---- _Lord S._ She'll bite him. Oh, you may make your mind quite easy about that parrot. She's bitten every finger of mine to the bone, and I'm certain she's quite equal to defending herself against JARP. _The Act proceeds without any further hitch, until_ BELINDA _wheels on her double perambulator containing two red-headed infants, one of whom is terrified into tears and calls for "Father!" in a shrill voice. After this everything, however, goes well, and the Curtain falls amidst thunders of applause._ BEHIND THE CURTAIN.