I ain't so werry much supprized as I ort to be, to learn that the ouse of Commons--ouse of "Short Commons," I shud call 'em--has passed this most wicked Law, _cos werry pore peeple ain't got no votes_; but I do confess as I am supprised at the most respectabel and harrystocrattick House of Lords a condesendin not merely to rob a pore man of his Beer, but to rob a poor Made Servant of her 2 Ginneys reward for behaviour like a Angel for four long weary years in the same place, be it a good 'un or a werry ard 'un, and to purwent a lot of pore hard working Men and Women from getting their little stock of Coles in at about a quarter of the reglar price! In course it ain't to be supposed as Washupfool Books and Honnerabel Markisses can know or care much about the price of Coals, altho there is one Most Honnerabel Markis, from whom I bort a hole Tun larst year at rayther a high figger, who coud have told em, and shood have told em all about it, tho' praps he's agin cheap Coles on principal. And besides all this, it won't I shood think, be a werry plezzant thort to come across a Noble Dook's or a Wirtuous Wiscount's mind--if such eminent swells has em, like the rest on us--when they sees a lot of dirty raggid boys and gals a loafing about the streets, to think that if the money that was left hundreds of years ago by good men, had been still used _as it was ordered to be used_, and has been used for sentrys, these same raggid boys and gals wood have bin a learning of some useful trade by which they might have hearnd a desent living. In course I can hear, with my mind's ear, as _Amlet_ says, my thowsends of simperthising readers shouting out, "What's the use of your crying over spilt milk?" Well, none, of course, but I happens to have herd that there's still _jest one chance left_. It seems that there is what's called, I think, "_a appeal_" to sum werry heminent Swells called "the Lords of the uncommon Counsel on Eddication," and the kind-hearted Church Wardens, as I has before eluded to, means to make one; and ewery kind-hearted Cristian Man and Woman as reads my truthful statement, and can feel, as me, and Lords, and Ladies as well, can, and ort to, and must feel, will wish 'em thurrur suksess in their good, and kind, and mussiful atemt to hobtane justiss for them as carnt no hows obtane it for theirselves. ROBERT. * * * * * HOW WE DO BUSINESS NOW. BEAR COURT CHAMBERS, BULL LANE, E.C. CIRCULAR 1059. TELEGRAPHIC ADDRESS--SPIDER. TELEPHONE NUMBER--BILLION.