"_Oh yes, plenty of room, and pleased to have you_;" _i.e._, "Old nuisance! will quite spoil my promising _tete-a-tete_." PREPARING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS. "_You see you have just the figure--slim and graceful you know--for Signor Dumcramboni, which is the great thing_;" _i.e._, "Must flatter him a little, or he'll kick at the one-speech part." "_Oh, I leave myself entirely in your hands_;" _i.e._, "Wait till I'm fairly in, and _I_'ll show him!" "_Really, the prodigious passion that Mr. Elderberrie throws into the declaration-scene quite disconcerts me_;" _i.e._, "Preposterous old pump-handle!" "_Well, I'm sure I don't know what we should do without You! You put us all right_;" _i.e._, "Fussy old idiot! Once spoke to MACREADY, and fancies himself no end of a Manager." TRADE EMBELLISHMENTS. "_Champagne. Grand Vin. Special Brand. Cuvee Reservee, 1874. Offered at 28s. the Dozen. Only a few dozen of this magnificent wine are left_;" _i.e._, A dangerous home-manufactured compound of apple and gooseberry, that could not be safely offered even at a funeral. "_The 'Indian Sunrise' Rheumatic Vinegar, distilled in the far East from the choicest Oriental herbs_;" _i.e._, Some stuff made in Shoreditch of common blue vitriol and turpentine. OVER THE BABY. "_Oh, how like!_" _i.e._, "Like?--Yes, like every other baby." * * * * * WEEK BY WEEK. _Wednesday._--_Mr. Punch_ appears. Up and out early. Rejoicings. Banquets to Mr. STANLEY generally. _Thursday._--Old Half-Quarter Day, New Style. Anniversary Dinner, at the Goose and Serpent, of First Night Theatrical-Wreckers' Club. Mrs. SNOOKS' Dinner, to meet Mr. STANLEY. _Friday._--Nothing particular, except meeting Mr. STANLEY. _Saturday._--Close time for Salmon in Serpentine begins. Mrs. NEMO'S first dance with Mr. STANLEY. _Sunday._--Everyone in Hyde Park to meet Mr. STANLEY. Rev. Dr. HONEYMAN'S Sermon to Mr. STANLEY. Museums closed. Flowers open, free. _Monday and Tuesday._--Much as usual. To meet Mr. STANLEY. _General Forecast._--Weather unsettled at first. More so afterwards. N.E.E. Gales to meet Mr. STANLEY. Snow, followed by violent Cyclones, unless dry, warm, and 91 deg. in the shade. Depression over the whole of the British Dominions. _Wednesday._--Depression entirely relieved by appearance of _Mr. Punch_. Rejoicings all day. Squibs, Fireworks at night. In the evening, Somebody meets Mr. STANLEY. [Illustration: SUGGESTIONS FOR PICTORIAL DIRECTORY. Cromwell Row'd S.W.] * * * * *