Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 16, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 16, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Tuesday_.--Since yesterday, some slight modifications in Ministerial
arrangements have been made. Mr. SM-TH, for example, does not go to
the House of Lords, nor Mr. G-SCH-N to the Gold Coast. Moreover, no
attempt has been made to induce Lord R-ND-LPH to enter the Cabinet,
and Mr. B-LF-R is not to be Leader of the House. Otherwise, the
rumoured reconstruction was quite correct. Lord H-RT-NGT-N'S
acceptance of the post of Prime Minister is considered to be merely
a matter of time.
_Wednesday_.--No fresh reconstruction is announced to-day, as
Ministers are mostly out of Town. Lord H-RT-NGT-N declines to be
interviewed on the subject of the Premiership.
_Thursday_.--An entirely fresh readjustment of Ministerial forces
is on the _tapis_. Great excitement prevails at Westminster. Nobody
exactly knows why, but it is expected that substitutes will be found
for Mr. G-SCH-N, Mr. SM-TH, Mr. B-LF-R, Mr. M-TTH-WS, Mr. R-TCH-E, and
Lord H-LSB-RY. Lord H-RT-NGT-N is said to have referred all persons
who questioned him about his acceptance of the Premiership, to Lord
S-L-SB-RY.
_Friday_.--Mr. M-TTH-WS has been offered the Governorship of Madras,
and has declined. He has been sounded as to whether he would accept
the High Commissionership of the unexplored parts of Central Africa,
and has replied evasively. Two prominent Members of the Cabinet are
said not to be on speaking terms, and are practising the dumb alphabet
in consequence. It is positively asserted, that the Lord Advocate will
be the next Leader of the House of Commons. Lord H-RT-NGT-N'S chances
of the Premiership have not improved.
_Saturday_.--A total and absolutely fresh reconstruction of the
Cabinet, giving everybody a new place, and every place a new holder,
is expected immediately. Details will follow shortly. For the
present Lord H-RT-NGT-N remains outside the Cabinet, and has gone
to Newmarket.
* * * * *
WEEK BY WEEK.
We have often been asked how we contrive to put together every week
the delightful paragraphs which appear in this column. The system is
really wonderfully easy, and, with proper instruction, a child could
do it. The first point is to select an item of intelligence about
which few people care to hear. This must be spun out very thin and
long, and adorned with easy extracts from TUPPER, the copy-books, or
Mr. W.H. SMITH'S speeches. Then wrap it up in a blanket of humour,
sprinkle with fatuousness, and serve cold.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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