The Austrian Inventor, who has just designed his ship of a mile in length that is to travel through the water at eighty-seven miles an hour, and cross the Atlantic in something under a day and a half, is, I am told, only waiting the requisite capital to enable him at once to set about carrying his project into effect. Each vessel will be provided with an Opera House a Cathedral, including a Bishop, who will be one of the ship's salaried officers; a Circus, Cricket-ground, Cemetery, Race-course, Gambling-saloon, and a couple of lines of Electric Tram-cars. The total charge for board and transit will be only 10s. 6d. a day, which will bring the fare to New York to something like 16s. As it is calculated that at least 100,000 passengers will cross the Atlantic on each journey, the financial aspect of the whole concern seems sound. As I said before, the only difficulty is the capital. Surely some enterprising Croesus who has thirty millions lying idle in the Two-and-a-half per Cents, might look at the matter. * * * * * "A SPORTING TIPSTER" writes:--"Perhaps you are not aware that _the_ feature of next Season's Foot-ball will be the arrival of a strong team of the Kajawee Cannibal Islanders, a ferocious race, who have been instructed in the game by a celebrated Midland half-back. As in practice they invariably, instead of a foot-ball, use a fresh human head, and in a scrimmage leave half their number dead on the field, by having recourse to the 'Kogo' or 'Spine Splitting Stroke,' introduced from a local athletic game, some excitement will no doubt be manifested in sporting circles when they meet the Clapham Rovers, as, I believe, it is arranged they shall do at the Oval, early in November next." * * * * * Hats of the style of the earliest portion of the Saxon Heptarchy will _not_, after all, be seen in the Row during this Season, though several male leaders of fashion are stated to have given orders for them on an approved model. * * * * * [Illustration: A WASTED EPIGRAM. "WHERE IS THE EVENING _GAZETTE_, WAITER?' "PLEASE, SIR, IT'S NOT YET _SEWN_." "_SOWN_, SIR! IT OUGHT TO HAVE _COME UP_!"] * * * * * MINE AND THINE. [In a recent case, a promoter of Gold Mining Companies was asked if any of his Companies had ever paid a penny of dividend. His answer was, "You cannot know much about gold mines to ask such a question." He admitted, however, that he himself had made some £50 000 out of them. "This," he said, "is not profit; it is the realisation of property."] Take a patch of land in Africa and multiply by ten, Then extract a ton of metal from an ounce or two of sand; Write a roseate prospectus with a magnifying pen, Making deserts flow with honey in a rich and smiling land.