PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 99. August 23, 1890. NOVELTY UP TO DATE. [Illustration] The originality of the plot of _The English Rose_ (the new play at the Adelphi) having been questioned, the following Scotch Drama is published with a view of ascertaining if it has been done before. Those of our readers who think they recognise either the situations or any part of the dialogue, will kindly remember that treatment is everything, and the imputation of plagiarism is the feeblest of all charges. The piece is called _Telmah_, and is written in Three Acts, sufficiently concise to be given in full:-- ACT I. _The Horse Guards Parade, Elsinore, near Edinburgh._ _Enter MACCLAUDIUS, MACGERTRUDE, Brilliant Staff, and Scotch Guards. The Colours are trooped._ _Then enter TELMAH, who returns salute of Sentries._ _MacClaudius_. I am just glad you have joined us, TELMAH. _Telmah_. Really! I fancied some function was going on, but thought it was a parade, in honour of my father's funeral. _MacGertrude_ (_with a forced laugh_). Don't be so absurd! Your poor father--the very best of men--died months ago. _Telmah_ (_bitterly_). So long! _MacClaudius_ (_aside_). Ma gracious! He's in one of his nasty tempers, MACGERTRUDE. Come away! (_Aloud._) Believe me, I shall drink your health to-night in Perrier Jouet of '74. Come! [_Exeunt with Queen and Guards._ _Telmah_. Oh! that this too solid flesh would melt! (_Enter_ Ghost.) Hallo! Who are you? _Ghost_ (_impressively_). I am thy father's spirit! List, TELMAH, oh, list! _Telmah_. Would, with pleasure, were I not already a Major in the Army, and an Hon. Colonel in the Militia. _Ghost_ (_severely_). None of your nonsense! (_More mildly._) Don't be frivolous! (_Confidentially._) I was murdered by a serpent, who now wears my crown. _Telmah_ (_in a tone of surprise_). O my prophetic soul! Mine uncle? _Ghost_. Right you are! Swear to avenge me! _Telmah_ (_after an internal struggle_). I swear! [_Solo for the big drum. Re-enter troops, spectral effect, and tableau._ ACT II.--_INTERIOR OF THE PALACE OF ELSINORE, NEAR EDINBURGH, ARRANGED FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS. MACCLAUDIUS, MACGERTRUDE AND COURT SEATED, WITH TELMAH ACTING AS PROMPTER._ _MacClaudius_ (_aside to MACPOLONIUS_). Lord Chamberlain, have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in't? _MacPolonius_. Well, Sire, as I understand it is not intended for public representation, I have not done more than glance at it. I am told it is very clever, and called "_The Mouse-trap_." _MacGertrude_. Rather an idiotic title! (_Contemptuously._) "_The Mouse-trap_!" [_Business. A King on the mimic stage goes to sleep, and a shrouded figure pours poison into his ear. MACCLAUDIUS rises abruptly._ _Telmah_ (_excitedly_). He poisons him for his estate. His name's MACGONZAGO. The story is extant, and writ in choice Italian. You shall see anon how the murderer gets the love of MACGONZAGO's wife!