GRANDOLPH _muses_:--"My Kingdom for a horse!" Ah, well! The question is,--which _is_ my Kingdom? I'm bound to own there _is_ a spell In Turfdom, Stabledom, and Ringdom, The spell that Lord GEORGE BENTICK knew, As DIZZY tells, _I_ feel it too. He won brief leadership, who might Have won the Derby! Which was better? There's rapture in a racer's flight, There's rust on the official fetter. Of me the Press tells taradiddles! Well, I do set the fools strange riddles! "Fourth Party!" He was no bad start For a new stable, but he's done with. "Tory Democracy!" No heart! But 'tis a mount I've had good fun with. "Leader!" "Economy!" "Sobriety!" My Stable has not lacked variety. What does NORTH say? A ragged lot? Try a new string? And you, DUNRAVEN? Humph! Fancy does blow cold and hot. Audacious now, and now half craven. Well, freak's an unexhausted fount. Mentor, can _you_ guess my next mount? [Illustration: A CAREFUL MAN. _Host._ "HULLO! WATERING MY CHAMPAGNE! AFRAID OF ITS GETTING INTO YOUR _HEAD_, I SUPPOSE?" _Guest._ "No! IT'S NOT MY _HEAD_ I'M AFRAID OF WITH _YOUR_ CHAMPAGNE!"] * * * * * MY PITHY JAYNE. [DR. JAYNE, Bishop of Chester, at a Conference of the Girl's Friendly Society, at Chester, said that until they were prepared to introduce basket-making into London Society as a substitute for quadrilles and waltzes, he was not disposed to accept it as an equivalent for balls and dances among girls of other classes.] AIR.--"_My Pretty Jane_." My pithy JAYNE, my plucky JAYNE, _Punch_ fancies you looked sly When you met them, met them down at Chester, And gave them "one in the eye." Bigotry's waning fast, my boy, But Cant we sometimes hear, And Chester cant is pestilent cant, My Lord, that's pretty clear. Then pithy JAYNE, my plucky JAYNE, Of smiting don't be shy; But meet them, meet the moonstruck Puritans And tell them it's all my eye. 'Tis only play, and harmless play, Like kissing in the ring, When lads and lasses of spirits gay Dance like young lambs in Spring. That Spring will wane too fast, alas! But while it yet is here, Let youth enjoy, or girl or boy, The dance to youth so dear. Then pithy JAYNE, my plucky JAYNE, Don't heed the bigot's cry, But meet them, meet them down at Chester And teach them Charity! * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. [Illustration: Turning over fresh Leaves.]