The lone Swan's _requiem_ smote the soul With the reverse of joy. It spake of sorrow, of outfalls queer, Dyeing the floods once full and clear; Of launches wildly galumphing by, Washing the banks into hollow and hole; Sometimes afar, and sometimes a-near. All-marring 'ARRY'S exuberant voice, With music strange and manifold, Howling out choruses loud and bold As when Bank-holidayites rejoice With concertinas, and the many-holed Shrill whistle of tin, till the riot is rolled Through shy backwaters, where swan-nests are; And greasy scraps of the _Echo_ or _Star_, Waifs from the cads' oleaginous feeds, Emitting odours reekingly rank, Drift under the clumps of the water-weeds, And broken bottles invade the reeds, And the wavy swell of the many-barged tug Breaks, and befouls the green Thames' bank. And the steady decrease of the snow-plumed throng That sail the upper Thames reaches among, Was prophesied in that plaintive song. * * * * * DOING IT CHEAPLY. A re-action against the extravagance which marked the entertainments of the London Season of 1890 having set in, the following rules and regulations will be observed in the Metropolis until further notice. 1. Persons invited to dinner parties will be expected to furnish their own plate and linen, and some of the viands and wines to be used at the feast. 2. To carry out the above, a _menu_ of the proposed meal will form a part of every card of invitation, which will run as follows:--"Mr. and Mrs. ---- request the honour of Mr. and Mrs. ----'s company to dinner, on ---- when they will kindly bring with them enough for twelve persons of the dish marked ---- on the accompanying _Menu_, P.T.O." 3. Persons invited to a Ball will treat the supper as a pic-nic, to which all the guests are expected to contribute. 4. On taking leave of a hostess every guest will slip into her hand a packet containing a sum of money sufficient to defray his or her share of the evening's expenses. 5. Ladies making calls at or about five o'clock, will bring with them tea, sugar, milk, pound-cake, cucumber sandwiches, and bread and butter. 6. As no bands will be furnished at evening parties, guests who can play will be expected to bring their musical instruments with them. N.B. This does not apply to pianofortes on the premises, for which a small sum will be charged to those who use them. 7. Should a _cotillon_ be danced, guests will provide their own presents, which will become the perquisites of the host and hostess. 8, _and lastly_. Should the above rules, compiled in the interest of leaders of Society, be insufficient to keep party-givers from appearing in the Court of Bankruptcy, guests who have partaken of any hospitality will be expected to contribute a gratuity, to enable the Official Receiver to declare a small and final dividend. * * * * *