[_The Family Failure collapses._ _Mr. Limpett_. Well, as we've all got pencils, is there any reason why the revelry should not commence? _Mr. C._ No--don't let's waste any more time. Miss ZEFFIE says she will write down on the top of her paper "Who met whom" (must be a Lady and Gentleman in the party, you know), then she folds it down, and passes it on to the next, who writes, "What he said to her"--the next, "What she said to him"--next, "What the consequences were," and the last, "What the world said." Capital game--first-rate. Now, then! [_The whole party pass papers in silence from one to another, and scribble industriously with knitted brows._ _Mr. C._ Time's up, all of you. I'll read the first paper aloud. (_Glances at it, and explodes._) He-he!--this is really very funny. (_Reads._) "Uncle JOSEPH met Aunt CAROLINE at the--ho--ho!--the Empire! He said to her, '_What are the wild waves saying?_' and she said to him, 'It's time you were taken away!' The consequences were that they both went and had their hair out, and the world said they had always suspected there was something between them!" _Uncle J._ I consider that a piece of confounded impertinence! [_Puffs._ _Aunt C._ It's not true. I _never_ met JOSEPH at the Empire. I don't go to such places. I _didn't_ think I should be insulted like this--(_Weeps._)--on Christmas too! _Aunts' Chorus_. FRED _again_! [_They regard Family Failure indignantly._ _Mr. C._ There, then, it was all fun--no harm meant. I'll read the next. "Mr. LIMPETT met Miss ZEFFIE in the Burlington Arcade. He said to her, 'O, you little duck!' She said to him, 'Fowls are cheap to-day!' The consequences were that they never smiled again, and the world said, 'What price hot potatoes?'" (_Everybody looks depressed._) H'm--not bad--but I think we'll play something else now. [_ZEFFIE perceives that ALGY is not pleased with her._ _Tommy_. (_To Uncle JOSEPH_). Uncle, why didn't _you_ carve at dinner? _Uncle J._ Well, TOMMY, because the carving was done at a side table--and uncommon badly done, too. Why do you want to know? _Tommy_. Parpar thought you _would_ carve, I know. He told Mummy she must ask you, because-- _Mrs. C._ (_With a prophetic instinct._) Now, TOMMY, you mustn't tease your Uncle. Come away, and tell your new Aunt ZEFFIE what you're going to do with your Christmas boxes. _Tommy_. But mayn't I tell him what Parpar said, first? _Mrs. C._ No, no; by and by--not now! [_She averts the danger._ [_Later; the Company are playing "Hide the Thimble;" i.e., someone has planted that article in a place so conspicuous that few would expect to find it there. As each person catches sight of it, he or she sits down. Uncle JOSEPH is still, to the general merriment, wandering about and getting angrier every moment._ _Mr. C._ That's it, Uncle, you're _warm_--you're _getting_ warm!