Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
The accused becomes the accuser. Called upon to defend himself, he
turns, and makes a slashing attack on his pursuers, carrying the
war into their camp. Scorning the Captains and Men-at-arms, he goes
straight for Mr. G., and in an instant swords clash across the table,
and shields are dinted. Nothing more delightful than to hear Mr. G.
complaining, as he rose, and took his coat off, that Prince ARTHUR
had "dragged him into the controversy." On the whole, he bore the
infliction pretty well, and went for ARTHUR neck and crop. _Business
done_.--Irish Votes in Supply.
_Tuesday_.--"I have seen nothing; I have heard nothing." Pathetic
refrain of OLD MORALITY murmured again to-night: Members wanted to
know about various things; but in OLD MORALITY'S mind, fate of the
Tithes Bill, intentions of Government touching proposed new Standing
Order, and allocation of money originally intended for Publicans, all
a blank. "We are still considering," says he.
"A most considerate Government," says WILFRID LAWSON. "Might save time
and trouble if they had at table an automatic machine; Members wanting
to know how business is to be arranged, what Bills to be dropped, and
which gone forward with, could go up to table, drop a penny in the
slot, and out would come the answer--'I have seen nothing; I have
heard nothing.'"
Seems that HANBURY has exceptional means of obtaining information.
OLD MORALITY has privately shown him Military Report with respect to
Heligoland. A confidential communication, something of the kind the
MARKISS carried on with the population of Heligoland. But HANBURY
straightway goes and tells all about it in a letter to one of his
Constituents; letter gets into papers. SUMMERS reads it out to House.
Eagerly thirsting after knowledge on military matters, SUMMERS wants
also to see the text of Report. Why should HANBURY have it all to
himself? Quartermaster-General SUMMERS would like opportunity of
studying it, and forming opinion as to accuracy of the naval and
military men who have drawn up plan. Will OLD MORALITY favour him
by placing him on an equality of confidence with HANBURY? No, OLD
MORALITY will not. Howl of indignant despair from Radicals. Never
heard of this Report before; but that HANBURY should see it, and
thereby be enabled to assure his constituents, even by nods and winks,
that it was all right about Heligoland, was more than they could put
up with. O'PICTON sat morose at the corner seat below the Gangway.
Who was HANBURY, that he should have the advantage of studying these
military documents when the grand-nephew of PICTON of Waterloo was
left out in the cold, his martial instincts unsatisfied, his knowledge
of strategical points of the British Empire unsatiated?
Another instance this of the misfortune that pursues the Government.
Little did OLD MORALITY think, when in moment of weakness he showed
this important document to HANBURY, what a hornet's nest it would
bring about his unoffending head.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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