Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, July 19, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Business done_.--Irish Constabulary Vote passed.
_Thursday_.--At last OLD MORALITY has heard something and seen
something. Heard how things went on to-day in Committee on Procedure.
Worse and worse. Prince ARTHUR made curious blunder for one so alert:
introduced into draft Report admission of principle that Lords might,
an they pleased, refuse to consider in current Session, any Bill
coming up to them from Commons. HARCOURT saw his opportunity; used
it with irresistible skill and force. Committee adjourned in almost
comatose state.
This is what OLD MORALITY has heard from JOKIM, who begins to think
that, after all, life is a serious thing. What he sees is, that it
is impossible to further delay decision about business. Accordingly
announces complete surrender. All, all are gone, the old familiar
faces--Land Purchase Bill, Tithe Bill, and even this later project
of the new Standing Order. "What, all our pretty chicks?" cry the
agonised Ministerialists.
"Yes," said OLD MORALITY, mingling his tears with theirs, "our duty to
our QUEEN and Country demands this sacrifice. But," he added, bracing
up, significantly eyeing Mr. G., and speaking in dear solemn tones,
"we reserve to ourselves absolute freedom of action on a future
occasion." Opposition shouted with laughter, whilst OLD MORALITY stood
and stared, and wondered what was amusing them now. New Session is,
according to present intentions, to open in November. Will the Land
Purchase Bill be taken first? Mr. G. wants to know.
"Sir," said OLD MORALITY, "I have indicated the views of the
Government as to the Land Purchase Bill, according as those views
are held at the present time." (Cheers from the Ministerialists.)
Encouraged by this applause, and, happy thought striking him, went on:
"But it is impossible for the Government to say what circumstances may
occur to qualify those views."
Once more Opposition break into storm of laughter; OLD MORALITY again
regards them with dubious questioning gaze.
"Curious thing, TOBY," he said to me afterwards, "those fellows
opposite always laugh when I drop in my most diplomatic sentences.
It's very well for MACHIAVELLI that he didn't live in these times,
and lead House of Commons instead of the Government of the Florentine
Republic. He would never have opened his mouth without those Radicals
and Irishmen going off into a fit of laughter."
_Business done_.--Announcement that business _won't_ be done.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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