_Subaltern_. Sorry to say, Sir, they have paraded without bayonets. _Capt._ Well, that's to be regretted; although they are small enough nowadays, in all conscience! Fire a volley! At a thousand yards! Ready! _Sub._ Very sorry. Sir, but the men forgot to bring their ammunition. _Capt._--Come, this is getting serious! Here's the Cavalry preparing to charge, and we are useless! Must move 'em off! Right turn! _Sergeant_. Please, Sir, the Company's a bit rusty, and don't know their right hands from their left. _Capt._ (_losing his temper_). Confound it! They don't, don't they! Well, hang it all, I suppose they will understand this? (_To Company._) Here, you pampered useless idiots--bolt! [They bolt. * * * * * A CUTTING (transplanted from the advertisements in the _Belfast News-Letter_):-- WANTED, A PARROT: one brought up in a respectable family, and that has not been taught naughty words or bigoted expressions, preferred.--Apply by letter, stating price, &c. "Preferred!" What sort of a Parrot had they been previously accustomed to at that house? * * * * * NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.