_P.M._ (_restraining his indignation_). Very well; the Court is adjourned to the coal-cellar. (_Scene changes to that locality._) Come, this is not so bad! Very cool, if rather damp. And now, Constable, go on with your evidence. _Police Constable_. Well, your Worship, as I was on duty last night, this man-- _Coalheaver_ (_speaking through hole in roof_). Sorry to disturb you, gents, but as me and my mates are going to put some coals in this here cellar, I thought it good manners to tell you all to clear out. _P.M._ (_restraining his indignation_). The Court is adjourned to the housetop. (_Scene changes to that locality._) Come, this is not so bad! Nice breeze up here. A little difficult to sit upon a sloping roof, perhaps; but one gets accustomed to everything. And now, Constable, go on with your evidence. _Police Constable_. Well, your Worship, as I was on duty last night, this man-- _Sweep_ (_entering_). Sorry to disturb you, mates, but I am just agoing to sweep the chimneys; and-- _Police Magistrate_ (_unable to restrain his indignation any longer_). Oh--!!! [_The Curtain hurriedly conceals the strong but natural exclamation._] * * * * * [Illustration: EXCELSIOR! OR, THE DAY-DREAM OF DRURIOLANUS. _Elected Sheriff, June 27, he dreams that he is encountered on his road by the fairy forms of Harry Nicholls and Herbert Campbell._ _Voices of Fairy Forms_. "ALL HAIL, DRURIOLANUS! SHERIFF THOU ART, AND SHALT BE MAYOR HEREAFTER!"] * * * * * VOCES POPULI. AT THE MILITARY TOURNAMENT. SCENE--_THE AGRICULTURAL HALL. TENT-PEGGING GOING ON_. _Stentorian Judge_ (_in Arena_). Corporal BINKS! (_The Assistants give a finishing blow to the peg, and fall back. Corporal BINKS gallops in, misses the peg, and rides off, relieving his feelings by whirling his lance defiantly in the air_.) Corporal BINKS--nothing! _A Gushing Lady_. Poor dear thing! I _do_ wish he'd struck it! he did look so disappointed, and so did that sweet horse! _The Judge_. Serjeant SPANKER! (_Sergeant S. gallops in, spears the peg neatly, and carries it off triumphantly on the point of the lance, after which he rides back and returns the peg to the Assistants as a piece of valuable property of which he has accidentally deprived them_) Sergeant SPANKER--eight! (_Applause; the Assistants drive in another peg._) Corporal CUTLASH! (_Corporal C. enters, strikes the peg, and dislodges without securing it. Immense applause from the Crowd_.) Corporal CUTLASH--two! _The Gushing Lady_. Only two, and when he really did hit the peg! I do call that a shame. I should have given him more marks than the other man--he has such a _much_ nicer face! _A Child with a Thirst for Information_. Uncle, why do they call it _tent_-pegging? _The Uncle_. Why? Well, because those pegs are what they fasten down tents with. _The Child_. But why isn't there a tent now? _Uncle_. Because there's no use for one. _Child_. Why?