_Uncle_. Because all they want to do is to pick up the peg with the point of their lance. _Child_. Yes, but why _should_ they want to do it? _Uncle_. Oh, to amuse their horses. (_The Child ponders upon this answer with a view to a fresh catechism upon the equine passion for entertainment, and the desirability, or otherwise, of gratifying it_.) _A Chatty Man in the Promenade_ (_to his Neighbour_). Takes a deal of practice to strike them pegs fair and full. _His Neighbour_ (_who holds advanced Socialistic opinions_). Ah, I dessay--and a pity they can't make no better use o' their time! Spoiling good wood, _I_ call it. I don't see no point in it myself. _The Chatty Man_. Well, it shows they can _ride_, at any rate. _The Socialist_. Ride? O' course they can _ride_--we pay enough for 'aving 'em taught, don't we? But you mark my words, the People won't put up with this state of things much longer--keepin' a set of 'ired murderers in luxury and hidleness. I tell yer, wherever I come across one of these great lanky louts strutting about in his red coat, as if he was one of the lords of the hearth, well--it makes my nose bleed, ah--it _does_! _The Chatty Man_. If that's the way you talk to him, I ain't surprised if it do. _The Judge_. Sword _versus_ Sword! Come in, there! (_Two mounted Combatants, in leather jerkins and black visors, armed with sword-sticks, enter the ring; Judge introduces them to audience with the aid of a flag_.) Corporal JONES, of the Wessex Yeomanry; Sergeant SMITH, of the Manx Mounted Infantry. (_Their swords are chalked by the Assistants_.) Are you ready? Left turn! Countermarch! Engage! (_The Combatants wheel round and face one another, each vigorously spurring his horse and prodding cautiously at the other; the two horses seem determined not to be drawn into the affair themselves on any account, and take no personal interest in the conflict; the umpires skip and dodge at the rear of the horses, until one of the Combatants gets in with a rattling blow on the other's head, to the intense delight of audience. Both men are brushed down, and their weapons re-chalked, whereupon they engage once more_--_much to the disgust of their horses, who had evidently been hoping it was all over. After the contest is finally decided, a second pair of Combatants enter; one is mounted on a black horse, the other on a chestnut, who refuses to lend himself to the business on any terms, and bolts on principle; while the rider of the black horse remains in stationary meditation_.) Go on--that black horse--go on! (_The chestnut is at length brought up to the scratch snorting, but again flinches, and retires with his rider_.) _The Crowd_ (_to rider of black horse_). Go on, now's your chance! 'It him! (_The recipient of these counsels pursues his antagonist, and belabours him and his horse with impartial good-will until separated by the Umpires, who examine the chalk-marks with a professional scrutiny._)