_Herr V. K. (in a mixed accent)._ Lyties and Shentilmans, pefoor I co-mence viz my hillusions zis hevenin', I 'ave, most hemphadically to repoodiate hall hassistance from hany spirrids or soopernatural beins vatsohever. All I shall 'ave ze honour of showing you will be perform by simple Sloight of 'and, or Ledger-dee-Mang! (_He invites any member of the Audience to step up and assist him, but the spectators remain coy._) I see zat I 'ave not to-night so larsh an orjence to select from as usual, still I 'ope----(_Here one of the obvious Confederates slouches up, and joins him on the platform. _) Ah, zat is goot! I am vair moch oblige to you, Sare. (_The Confederate grins sheepishly._) Led me see--I seem to remember your face some'ow. (_Broader grin from Confederate._) Hah, you vos 'ere last night?--zat exblains it! But you 'ave nevaire assist me befoor, eh? (_Reckless shake of the head from Confederate._) I thought nod. _Vair_ veil. You 'ave nevaire done any dricks mit carts--no? Bot you vill dry? You nevaire dell vat you gan do till you dry, as ze ole sow said ven she learn ze halphabet. (_He pauses for a laugh--which doesn't come._) Now, Sare, you know a cart ven you see 'im? Ah, zat is somtings alretty! Now I vill ask you to choose any cart or carts out of zis back. (_The Confederate fumbles._) I don't vish to 'urry you--but I vant you to mike 'aste--&c, &c. _The Man in Evening Dress_. I remember giving BIMBO, the Wizard of the West, a guinea once to teach me that trick--there was nothing in it. _First Lady in Plush Cloak_. And can you _do_ it? _The M. in E.D. (guardedly_). Well, I don't know that I could exactly do it _now_--but I know how it's done. [_He explains elaborately how it is done_. _Herr Von K. (stamping, as a signal that the Orchestra may leave off)._ Next I shall show you my zelebrated hillusion of ze inexhaustible 'At, to gonclude viz ze Invisible 'En. And I shall be moch oblige if any shentelmans vill kindly favour me viz 'is 'at for ze burpose of my exberiment. _The M. in E.D_. Here's mine--it's quite at your service. [_To his companions. _] This is a stale old trick, he merely--(_explains as before. _) But you wait and see how I 'll score off him over it! _Herr V.K. (to the_ M. in E.D). You are gvide sure, Sare, you leaf nossing insoide of your 'at? _The M. in E.D. (with a wink to his neighbours_). On the contrary, there are several little things there belonging to me, which I'll thank you to give me back by-and-by. _Herr V.K. (diving into the hat_). So? Vat 'ave we 'ere? A bonch of flowairs! Anozzer bonch of flowairs? Anozzer--_and_ anozzer! Ha, do you alvays garry flowairs insoide your 'at, Sare? _The M. in E.D_. Invariably--to keep my head cool; so hand them over, please; I want them. [_His Companions titter, and declare "it really is_ too _bad of him!"_