_Herr V.K._. Bresently, Sare,--zere is somtings ailse, it feels loike--yes, it ees--a mahouse-drap. Your haid is drouble vid moice, Sare, yes? Bot zere is none 'ere in ze 'at! _The M. in E.D. (with rather feeble indignation_.) I never said there were. _Herr V.K_. No, zere is no mahouse--bot--[_diving again_]--ha! a leedle vide rad! Anozzer vide rad! And again a vide rad--and one, two, dree _more_ vide rads! You vind zey keep your haid noice and cool, Sare? May I drouble you to com and dake zem avay? I don't loike ze vide rads myself, it is madder of daste. [_The Audience snigger. _] Oh, but vait--zis is a _most_ gonvenient 'at--[_extracting a large feeding-bottle and a complete set of baby-linen_]--ze shentelman is vairy domestic, I see. And zere is more yet, he is goot businessman, he knows how von must hadvertise in zese 'ere toimes. 'E 'as 'elp me, so I vill 'elp 'im by distributing some of his cairculars for 'im. [_He showers cards, commending somebody's self-adjusting trousers amongst the Audience, each person receiving about two dozen--chiefly in the eye--until the air is dark, and the floor thick with them._ _The M. in E.D. (much annoyed_). Infernal liberty! Confounded impudence! Shouldn't have had _my_ hat if I 'd known he was going to play the fool with it like this! _First Lady in Plush Cloak_. But I thought you knew what was coming? _The M. in E.D_. So I did--but this fellow does it differently. [Herr VON K. _is preparing to fire a marked half-crown from a blunderbuss into a crystal casket_. _A Lady with Nerves (to her husband_). JOHN, I'm _sure_ he's going to let that thing off! _John (a Brute_). Well, I shouldn't be surprised if he is. _I_ can't help it. _The L. with N_. You could if you liked--you could tell him my nerves won't stand it--the trick will be every _bit_ as good if he only _pretends_ to fire, I'm sure. _John_. Oh, nonsense!--you can stand it very well if you _like_. _The L. w. N_. I _can't_, John.... There, he's raising it to his shoulder. JOHN, I _must_ go out. I shall scream if I sit here, I _know_ I shall! _John_. No, no--what's the use? He'll have fired long before you get to the door. Much better stay where you are, and do your screaming sitting down. (_The Conjuror fires._) There, you see, you _didn't_ scream, after all! _The L. w. N_. I screamed to _myself_--which is ever so much worse for me; but you never _will_ understand me till it's too late! [Herr VON K. _performs another trick._ _First Lady in Plush Cloak_. That was very clever, wasn't it? I can't _imagine_ how it was done! _The M. in E.D. (in whom the memory of his desecrated hat is still rankling_). Oh, can't you? Simplest thing in the world--any child could do it! _Second Lady_. What, find the rabbit inside those boxes, when they were all corded up, and sealed! _The M. in E.D_. You don't mean to say you were taken in by _that_? Why, it was another rabbit, of course!