Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, September 27, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, September 27, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_The Com._ How do you know? Speaking from my own experience, a
demand-note is generally left at the house when the master is away,
and the Collector does not take the slightest trouble to _collect_
the money. He leaves it to chance whether the money is _sent_ or not.
Surely _you_ must know that in your character of a householder?
_Shareh._ Well, yes; I fancy that the collector does sometimes act in
a very perfunctory manner.
_The Com._ And that servants frequently are unable to distinguish
between the open circular of a Gas Company asking for the settlement
of an account, and the open circular of a touting coal merchant asking
for custom? And when this happens, both find a home in the dust-hole.
Is not that so?
_Shareh._ Well, yes--very likely--but the law is--
_The Com._ (_sternly_). The Law and its name should not be lightly
taken in vain. I have seen on a Gas Company's circular the terrors of
a statute invoked to secure prompt payment of a few shillings! After
all, the Gas Companies (albeit monopolists) are merely traders, and
the Public are the customers. If a butcher, a baker, or a candle-stick
maker invariably attempted to secure immediate payment by reference
on the invoice to the usefulness of the County Court, it is more than
possible that that butcher, that baker, or that candle-stick maker,
would speedily have to retire from business _viâ_ the Bankruptcy
column of _The London Gazette_. Thus Gas Companies, who adopt a like
unpleasant tone, are regarded as the natural enemies of the Public
generally. You have a grievance--as a shareholder of one of these
Associations--but this is not the place to obtain redress. If you
want to improve your position, keep your eye upon your _employés_, and
teach them the meaning of that well-worn phrase, _Suaviter in modo,
fortiter in re!_ You may go!
[_The Witness then retired, with difficulty repressing a
painful exhibition of the most acute emotion._]
* * * * *
NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no
case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed
Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.
* * * * *
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol.
99, Sept. 27, 1890, by Various
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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