My pretty JANE, my dearest JANE, Ah, never look so shy, But meet me, meet me in the market, When the price of wheat rules high. The glut is waning fast, my love, And corn is getting dear; Good (Hymen) times are coming, love, Ceres our hearts shall cheer. Then pretty JANE, though poorish JANE, Ah, never pipe your eye, But meet me, meet me at the Altar, For the price of wheat rules high! Yes, name the day, the happy day, I can afford the ring; For corn rules high, the marriage rate Mounts up like anything; The "quarter" stands at fifty, love, Which, for Mark Lane is dear. Our wedding day is coming, love, Our married course is clear. Then, pretty JANE, if poorish JANE, Ah, never look so shy; But meet me, meet me at the Altar, When the price of wheat rules high! * * * * * [Illustration: TAKEN ON TRUST. _Viscount Conamorey_ (_whose recollections of the antique are somewhat hazy_). "AW--A--WHAT BEAUTIFUL ARMS AND HANDS YOU'VE GOT, MRS. BOUNDER! THEY REMIND ME OF THE VENUS OF MILO'S!" _Mrs. B._ (_who has never even seen the Venus of Milo_). "_OH_! YOU _FLATTERER_!"] * * * * * AN INVOCATION. (_BY A TOWN MOUSE._) [Illustration] Come back to Town! Why wander where The snow-clad peaks arise? Our English sunsets are as fair, With red September skies. Soft is the matutinal mist Through which the trees loom brown; Come back, if only to be kist,-- Come back to Town! For evermore, in days like these, When musing on your face, My sad imagination sees Another in my place. Say, do you listen to his prayer, Or slay him with a frown? At any rate I can't be there. Come back to Town! Why linger by some far-off lake Or Continental strand? St. Martin's Summer comes to make A glory in the land. The river runs a golden stream Where WREN'S great dome looks down; Thine eyes, methinks, have brighter gleam; Come back to Town! I hear your voice upon the wind, In dreamland you appear; But do you wonder that I find The day so long and drear? _Lentis adhærens brachiis_ come Once more my life to crown; Without thee 'tis too burdensome. Come back to Town! * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES. AT AN AFTERNOON CALL. "_So glad to see you at last. Now don't let me interrupt your talk with Mrs. VEREKER_;" i.e., "If I do, I shall be let in for being button-holed." "_Do let me get you some tea--you must be dying for a cup_;" i.e., "Know _I_ am." "_So sorry_--_I fear everything is cold. Do let me have some fresh tea made for you_;" i.e., "He can't accept _that_ offer." IN A NON-SMOKING CARRIAGE. "_You don't mind my cigar, do you?_" i.e., "I know he does, but I'm not going to waste it."