A Correspondent writes:--"I haven't an epitaph handy about BISMARCK, but here's one on a billiard-marker, buried, of course at Kew:-- "'Rem acu tetigi,' let this attest, Now he has gone away for his long rest." Yours, NIL DE MORTUIS." "P.S.--I'll think over the BISMARCK one, specially if he offers a prize of anything over a sovereign, as of course it ought to be, since the Ex-Chancellor always went in for an Imperial policy, which, however, didn't insure his life. This is very nearly an epitaph--praps you'll arrange it for me." Another says, "This is simple:-- "Ci gît, P.B." Yes, very simple, but not good enough. Perhaps our Correspondents will improve when the amount of the prize is fixed. * * * * * [Illustration: FANCY PORTRAIT. "THE PHYLLOXERA, A TRUE _GOURMET_, FINDS OUT THE BEST VINEYARDS AND ATTACHES ITSELF TO THE BEST WINES." (_From the "Times," August 27. Adapted by Our Appreciative Artist._)] * * * * * FOUND IN A RUM PLACE.--The Latest Spice discovered in Jamaica--the SPEAKER's Mace. * * * * * THE DAMSELS OF DIEPPE; _OR, THE LEGEND OF LIONEL._ "Newhaven to Dieppe," he cried, but, on the voyage there, He felt appalling qualms of what the French call _mal de mer_; While, when the steward was not near, he struck Byronic attitudes, And made himself most popular by pretty little platitudes. And, while he wobbled on the waves, be sure they never slep', While waiting for their LIONEL, the Damsels of Dieppe. He landed with a jaunty air, but feeling rather weak, While all the French and English girls cried out, "_C'est magnifique!_" They reck'd not of his bilious hue, but murmur'd quite ecstatical, "Blue coat, brass buttons, and straw hat,--_c'est tout-à-fait_ piratical!" He hadn't got his land-legs, and he walked with faltering step, But still they thought it _comme-il-faut_, those Damsels of Dieppe. The Douane found him circled round by all the fairest fair, The while he said, in lofty tones, he'd nothing to declare; He turned to one girl who stood near, and softly whisper'd, "Fly, O NELL!" But all the others wildly cried, "Give us a chance, O LIONEL!" And thus he came to shore from all the woes of Father Nep., With fatal fascinations for the Damsels of Dieppe. He went to the Casino, whither mostly people go, And lost his tin at baccarat and eke _petits chevaux_; And still the maidens flocked around, and vowed he was amusing 'em, And borrowed five-franc pieces, just for fear he should be losing 'em; And then he'd sandwiches and bocks, which brought on bad dyspep- sia for LIONEL beloved by Damsels of Dieppe.